My FSH ....jokes on me

Well, last night I wrote a post about my FSH and blogger ate it AGAIN. Last month I wrote a post about my FSH and blogger ate that one as well. I'm starting to get a complex when it comes to writing about it, LOL! Well, long story short...I was only writing to say that I was going to have my level drawn this week on day three of my cycle. If you've been following along with us on our journey, you know that it was elevated last time I had it drawn. Part of our future journey depends on levels such as this, helping guide us as to what our options are. For those of you not familiar with them...an elevated FSH can mean a few thing such as premature ovarian failure, or else how well a patient is likely to respond to fertility medications. When we did our IVF cycle that allowed us to concieve our daughter Brynn last year, my FSH was not that high. However, since then it has continued to climb. As I said last night...I feel guilty for saying this while there are so many people currently trying for their first...but I would love to be able to give our daughter a sibling someday. Depending on what my levels are....that "someday" either needs to be soon ....or not as soon if we have more time. That is one of the reasons I am curious to what they are since they have been elevated in the past.

Thank you so much for the understanding comments about my coworker/ classmate passing that I mentioned in my last post. Thanks for allowing me to vent as well...it is so helpful and therapeutic.

This past weekend was a nice one. We got caught up on some TV on our DVR like ER, Friday Night Lights, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, How I Met Your Mother, and my nerdy engineer husband's favorite...Big Bang Theory (I'm a nerd too...that's what I love about him!) Yesterday was cool, but warm enough for a walk so we took Brynn and our doggie Neela out around the neighborhood. There's nothing like some fresh air to help lift your mood after a long dreary Michigan winter. Next weekend our favorite local ice cream place named Clark's opens for summer and I'm already drooling over the thought of my favorite key lime pie ice cream! You might remember, but it was one of my favorites last summer as well :-) It makes me think of warm summer nights, the return of Big Brother to TV...and yes Candi...more eye candy (aka Memphis) for us!

We recently started looking at quick and close getaways for the upcoming months to go away for a few nights. I think that in the next couple of months we might go to Chicago for a few nights. Some shopping and some nice dinners out might be just what the doctor ordered. It's been quite awhile since we've been away...and there are several nice condo/lofts downtown with private parking, indoor pools and a kitchen that would be very Brynn- friendly for traveling. I can take all of my pumping supplies and baby stuff and not be crunched for packing room since we could drive there. It seems like a good first place to try to travel with Brynn. Maybe there will be a fabulous new pair of shoes to come as well? Heels or wedges...or maybe slides....oh my!

Sorry this post is so jumbled...but back on the subject of our journey towards adding to our family, we have come to some major decisions over the last couple of weeks. My husband and I have spent much time talking, and consulting with various doctors. Basically, depending on my FSH is how quickly we will proceed with things. When we did our IVF cycle, I responded with a measly five follicles, but all five fertilized and made it to either transfer or freezing, so no complaints there. We were very blessed. We have three frozen embryos left from that cycle - once again...a major blessing. We would obviously use those first before doing anything else. However...without going into too much detail...I think our future involves our friend M. She is my best friend from nursing school and has been my lifeline from the start of our infertility journey to the birth of our daughter Brynn. She also is Brynn's godmother. Having our friend M is basically as lucky and fortunate as a girl can get. She is amazing...caring...selfless...and such a beautiful person. I know that everyone has different opinions on how to add to one's family...but if you could just add support and not critism I would appreciate it. There are so many ways to develop your family nowadays...and we have made a choice for ours. It is a choice that was at the recommendation of several very reputable doctors, as well as one that my husband and I feel comfortable with. So please...just be understanding. This has not been an easy decision for us. I can't believe I'm actually typing this...it's both exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

In time I will add more detail....but until then...... thank you for sharing our journey. Without the kind words and support I don't think I would have the courage to move forward as we have.

I also have kind of gotten away from thanking someone each post who have been with us along the way. This time I want to thank Becca, another UU (unicornuate uterus) girl. She recently gave birth to her beautiful son Grant ar0und the same time that we had Brynn. Before we got pregnant Becca and I talked on the phone a few times and shared some of our ups and downs. She understood the heartache and devastation from having the UU diagnosis. Both of us were given a slim chance of ever conceiving or carrying our children to a successful birth...both of which we did despite the odds. Basically, from the beginning...we both proved the doctors wrong. We both viewed our little ones as miracles....because according to the REs...they were. Her love for Grant is so beautiful and it inspires me to be an even better mom to Brynn. So Becca, thanks for being with us from beginning to end. From when Brynn was just a dream to the point when I held her in my arms...and from the start of each of our miracles from beginning to end...it's been a pleasure. You're the best!