Lately I've been feeling stuck. Stuck about what to say here, that's why I haven't blogged as much lately. Stuck in our process of moving on with my amazing friend and our gestational carrier journey aka "Operation Give Brynn a Sibling." The whole feeling of stuck makes me want to stick my tongue out like Brynn does often. ( I was looking at photos from last month and saw this one...made me smile : - ) Just a short while ago we seemed so ready to charge ahead with the process. We ever had that good meeting with our RE and started the testing process. But then....stuck. My husband and I for various reasons just aren't ready to complete this journey that we started with my friend M yet. We still want to add to our family in this way with M, we still want to use our frozen embryo kiddos that we have from our first IVF cycle, we still want more than one child. But because I'm stuck...we won't be doing a transfer this month or next.I have to say that the very fact that I feel a bit stuck does scare me a bit. I'm not sure if it's just jitters, cold feet, or what. I completely want to do this amazing process that the most wonderful friend is giving us the gift of opportunity to do. I just wasn't ready to do it this month or next. Of course M is amazing and is okay with not doing this now. We all would like to do this fairly soon, at a time that works for both families of course. But I'm stuck. I hate to keep typing that. But it is so true....so stuck.
Growing up at my small Catholic school they didn't teach you about this in sex ed, there were no videos that discussed adding to your family other than the traditional way. I feel like we're venturing into an area that is far from traditional. I feel like I've wandered off the yellow brick road and that we're not quite in Kansas anymore. When taking your marriage prep classes at our church they kind of left out the discussion about using a gestational carrier - or any type of infertility reproductive medicine for that matter. What I think I'm trying to do is realize that we might kind of have our own yellow brick road to travel upon. That I might not be the typical Dorthy and that not everyone has to fit in all neat and traditional or Kansas - like. (No offense to the state of Kansas, we're only talking hypothetical Wizard of Oz talk LOL!)
So if anyone has any words of advice on how I can stumble back onto that darn yellow brick road and get "unstuck" so I can get on with this journey of adding to my family....I'm all ears.
In the meantime, I'll be teaching Brynn how to nicely play with her doggie so that no one gets hurt, LOL!
