Homestudy schedule

Brynn can obviously sense our excitement over the next few weeks. She took a moment to pose for a review of baby shoes. What can I say, she loves shoes just like her mom! We're currently trying to get ready for our trip to Chicago. Like I was saying, we rented an apartment downtown adjacent to the Mag Mile. We're taking one of my best friend's younger sisters as our nanny for the week. So the hubby and I are looking forward to a few fun nights out just the two of us which should be fun. We'll also have a kitchen and washer and dryer so that should definitely be kid friendly. I just need to somehow find swimsuit that is flattering since there is a pool on the 8th floor and a hot tub, LOL!

Next week Thursday we have our first homestudy. It seems so bizarre to need one to adopt our own embryos conceived via IVF, But whatever. As I said...unicorns..lechruchans...whatever. After that homestudy, both my husband and I each have a private meeting with the homestudy lady. Then after about 8-16 weeks we'll have an actual homestudy that takes place in our home. I'm just not sure what to tell this homestudy lady. Like do I seem silly and say we're looking at domestic adoption? Or do I say we're not sure if we're interested in international versus domestic adoption placement? Gee this is so silly to deal with our own embryos, LOL! But whatever. I just know that there are three sweet little embryos of ours waiting away in some lab just wanting to come home to us. Will they have my smile? My husbands's goofy grin? Brynn's bright blue eyes? Who knows...all I know is that I want more than anything in the whole wide word for our next child to make their way home. No matter how many hoops we have to jump through.

Adventures in cereal and a homestudy thrown in

Brynn is like, "Mom, I love this new cereal...but does it come in other flavors?"
"Ah yes...this is the stuff champions are made of!"Neela says..."Woof...I love me some baby toes!"

I have been the world's worst blogger and commenter as of the last week. I don't want to make excuses...but life has been so busy and crazy. I'm hoping tonight allows me to catch up with everyone. I've been working a bit extra lately and have become part of our open heart call team at work. Basically it involves some extra call and reorienting towards the heart transplants and doing valve replacements and bypass procedures. To be part of it you have to be an anesthetist that can do the anesthesia for open heart procedures, place arterial lines, deal with transesophegeal echos and other things. So it's been overwhelming at times...but I'm loving it!

On top of that we celebrated my father in law's 60th birthday this weekend out of state in Ohio on Saturday and spent Sunday looking at houses to move. We just basically need a bit more space, the older Brynn gets....the more I realize this. Yesterday I worked and was in the open heart room again. We did a mitral valve replacement on a very young woman who was only 32 years old but had rheumatic fever as a child. When I got home I scheduled our first home study appointment with the lady given to us by our lawyer. A week from Thursday...just 10 short days away is our first homestudy. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is all moving so fast. But I'm so freakin excited! In just a week's time I need to come up with a copy of our birth certificates, wedding certificate, W2s from last year and a police clearance from our city on both my husband any myself. I had to chuckle on that last one because it seems a bit silly. Both my husband and I are very boring individuals. But if they need a police clearance so we can adopt our own embryos in the grand state of Michigan so be it!

Once again - I so apologize for my lack of commenting, I'm still reading and am delighted to hear what's new with everyone. It just seems like I wake up and go to bed without getting half of what I want to get done accomplished these last few days.

We also recently got an offer to tell of our story from a local publisher. I'm not sure what I want to do with that as of yet. Our life seems so private, yet I realize I've written in my blog about such a matter that is private for the whole blogosphere to hear.Seems a bit contradictory if you know what I mean! To tell of our story I would have to include the infertility blogosphere and all who have been with us along the road. Without you, things would had been very different!

What I have gotten away from that I didn't mean to do was to continue to thank one blogger at a time. Next on my list is Jen from Here we go Again.She was one of my first commenters and has not missed many a post. Her little one Elizabeth is one of the cutest babies known to man. But more important than that, she actually has sent me numerous mailings of things to keep me occupied while I was on bedrest and pregnant. She in fact sent me things that my husband used to bring me while I was in the hospital. She would send me some of my favorite magazines complete with comments on certain pages that she had actually read through. Also her puppies are the absolute cutest. They give Neela a serious run for her money on the cuteness factor. And just when I was having a bad day and so sad in the hospital, I would get a package from Jen. She is the ultimate in blogger mail. Seriously...there is no better! So Jen, thank you. You Farah and I honestly would love to all get together sometime because I think we would have a blast. Jen..thank you for making my life just a little bit better! Brynn thanks you for your thoughtfulness. You are the best!

Just a quickie

Even though this is a quick post...Neela our puppy says "Please, make it a relaxing weekend mom....I'm tired! What's the hurry?"

I'll update more soon. But we met with our lawyer this week and it seems that the next step is scheduling a home study appointment for our "adoption." It's something I'm going to do over the next few days, ASAP. Gee this is getting so much more complicated than I thought. But in the end it is so so worth it. Sorry for the absence in blogging and commenting. Just been working a bit of extra days to help cover the costs of this whole new journey of unsurrogacy and rather direct placement adoption, LOL! I'm sure to return soon in the next couple of days. Hope you're all having a great weekend!

On a very cool note, Brynn started eating some rice cereal recently and is also up to 24 ounces of breastmilk a day also as a bare minimum. Often times she eats more and is growing by the day. The other day my husband weighed her on our very unreliable home scale and she measured over 12 pounds.....what a beefcake from our 4 pound girl she was born at! Not only that, but she still is a breast feeding champ even if we only do it once a day or once every other day. I know how lucky we are if the rest of the time I pump but she'll still feed!

Nothing has changed

Sorry for the confusion. Due to some goofy Michigan details I must involve leprechauns, unicorns and all other crazy happenings. But nothing has changed. Hope that clarifies things for those of you left shaking your heads! Same old same old if that helps explain things. Once again - sorry for the confusion. If laws made things simple and straightforward for infertile couples then none of this would be necessary! Still have the meeting tonight with the lawyer at 5:00. Still moving forward. And thanks for following along none the less...you are all amazing! If you still need more detail - just look at last Friday's post.

The word that we do not speak of.

Yes...just for the fact going forward. We have decided not to do a surrogacy cycle with our friends. Yet we have decided to do an arrangement that involves unicorns, rainbows, and leprechauns. Of course I mean no disrespect for those of you who have been involved in surrogacy cycles. That is just not an option for us. So instead I just wanted to say that we were involved in a journey of a different kind. Those that involved a horned horse and a man who loves 4 leaf clovers, LOL! I just wanted to make that clear for those who could influence us. Thank you.

Good weekend in the OR.

(Brynn after bath time with Dad this weekend.)

Thank you so much for your kind words on my previous post. I think I must be a bit hormonal and emotional with all of this surrogacy....oppsss I mean direct placement adoption stuff. Thanks for making me not feel like a putz for BFing Brynn while typing, talking on the phone or catching up on email. I'm sure she isn't being harmed by some extra mom - lovin time, LOL! And thank you so much for being so supportive of our journey so far. Things are still set up for our meeting with the lawyer for this Wednesday at 5:00 to figure out the legal logistics of things when it comes to the actual adoption or anything that we should draw up ahead of time. Her office is only about 10 minutes from our house so that'll be nice. My friend's sister is going to watch Brynn while we go the appointment so we don't have to worry about a hungry baby at 5:00 feeding time during the appointment. I'm trying to come up with a list of questions to ask - but honestly I don't even know where to start.

This weekend was a good one, I worked both days but honestly it was a good weekend despite being in the OR. Saturday I worked the day shift and spent the day doing hodge podge cases of an appendectomy, taking out a girl's gall bladder, fixing the hand of someone who had amputated a finger with a power tool, and doing a bowel resection for a young man with Chrohn's disease. Saturday night was beautiful weather, 70 degrees so we took Brynn out to our favorite casual restarurant that often has the winds open and it's almost like eating outside. On Sunday I worked during the day and had the first round of neuro cases since I'd been back to work. Now normally I'm not fond of neuro cases, not sure why but I prefer cardiac ones over neuro anyday. But these actually went okay and we did a craniotomy for a woman with a subarchnoid bleed from a car accident. It went well and we were able to extubate her at the end of the case and she was talking much better than she was when we saw her in pre-op holding. Next we did Burr holes for a woman with a history of elevated ICP (intercranial pressure). Basically they make a small opening in the skull to drain the elevated pressure and fluid into a small little collection bag after the surgery. The patient will then have less neuro deficits hopefully. Once again - the patient did great and woke up well postoperatively. It was pretty rewarding to see the work of the surgeon do well and to see them have good anesthetic and operative outcomes. I then was on call until this morning - but luckily didn't get called back. Thank heavens for small favors! I kept waking up last night to look at the clock thinking...please don't let me get called in, but it didn't happen. We had my friend's sister spend the night on the off chance that I did have to leave and get called in, but thank heavens Brynn slept well and so did all of us!

Today it's raining cats and dogs so I'm trying to catch up on some laundry and cleaning while Brynn is sleeping. That being said, Brynn seems to not want to nap today and keeps waking up a half hour after I put her down. My husband watched her the whole weekend while I was at work and usually she's tired after a day with dad. He has her play so hard in the exersaucer and do a lot of tummy time she's usually wiped out. I call it "daddy boot camp" while he watches her, LOL! I have to tell him to take it easy! She also seems to be going through a growth spurt wanting to eat an extra 4oz bottle a day so you'd think she'd be tired...but nope. Not our Brynn. She seems to be an insomniac when it comes to daytime naps. Night times going great - day time naps not so much over the last couple of weeks.

Well tonight I'm looking forward to catching up on Brothers and Sisters and Desperate Housewives on DVR. I'm not sure if Big Bang Theory and How I met Your Mother are new tonight or not. I also watched the latest show of "I didn't know I was Pregnant" and had to shake my head. How in the world can you deliver and not know you were pregnant the whole time. I mean...come on people - for real? I try to be understanding, but that's just bizarre!

Well, hope everyone is having a great week and I'm still trying to catch up with everyone. If only Brynn could nap and if only I could come up with a list of questions for our lawyer, LOL!

Surrogacy, the word which we will not speakith.

So I'm beginning to realize the rules of surrogacy in an unfriendly surrogacy state such as Michigan. Basically, surrogacy is the word that we will not speak of. Surrogacy is something that does not exist in Michigan. Yesterday and the day before I spent 5 + hours talking with a lawyer in our area. I also spoke with our RE whom preformed Brynn's IVF and months of infertility treatment with us. I am going forward with my guard up, hopeful...but guarded all at the same time. Things are possible, but definitely not going to be simple or straightforward. Yes, we know that my husband and I can create a viable embryo, we have a wonderful person to transfer the embryo to and to carry it for 9 months...but the conditions surrounding the process are anything but straightforward. Basically what I can say is that we have a lawyer who has dealt with similar situations in our state. We have a wonderful doctor who is willing to deal with sketchy laws and ambigoius language. We also have an amazing friend who is willing to carry our child for nine months. Things are falling into place. It will not be easy, straightforward, or cheap....but it is something I am willing to do.


Last night I was wondering if this was something that was worth doing or pursuing. My husband brought up a great point. He said, at the end of your life...what are you going to look back on that was important to you. He said, when you look back, are you going to be happy that you went on a vacation, bought a pair of shoes...took the easy route out. Or else are you going to be happy that you had two children. That you had a sibling for Brynn. The answer was so clear. I NEED to have a sibling for Brynn. She deserves it. It is at my fingertips. Don't ask me why - the here and why is not clear now. But I know in the long run Brynn needs a sibling. I've never felt something more strongly in my gut. I am an only child (two adopted siblings) my husband is an only child, my mom an only child and so forth. In my heart for some reason I feel Brynn needs a sibling. Therefore we must fight. It will not be easy, but we need to give her that. We owe her one. Since I am unable to have one for her, this is something we must fight to the end for to give her. Yes of course I selfishly would love another child myself, but more importantly...we need to have one for Brynn. And because of that we're going down the unconventional, unfriendly surrogacy path on our state. But we'll make it work. I know it is the word that we do not speak of....but we must somehow make this work.

Next on the agenda is a meeting with our lawyer who was recommended to us by our RE. We have a meeting next Wednesday at 5:00. She told us that she is not willing to mention the word surrogacy. We must refer to things going forward as "direct placement adoption." Sure...whatever. You can call it rainbows with unicorns for whatever I care. The other option is going out of state. It is not something I am willing to do at this time. My friend has a family and that is just not an option at this time. So sure...."direct placement adoption." Unicorns with horns and rainbows and leaps and bounds...whatever. I just want a second child. I know I can't have one myself and I know we have a blessed and beautiful friend who is willing to carry our little one for us. So whatever. Unicorns..."direct placement adoption....whatever."

Please as you have all been so great in doing...but keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Sometimes I wish things were easier. I wish that we could be a typical couple who falls in love and decides to have a family...but some malignant melanoma, some infertility, and some goofy diagnosis in the meantime...it's not that straightforward. All I know is that we want what everyone else has...a family. The 2.2 kids, dog and the white picket fence. And gosh darn it....I'm not willing to stop until we have that. Despite my dysfunctional body, our family deserves it. And if you're the praying type. Say a special thanks to our amazing friend who is willing to make this come true. Because for that she's the best. After all, how many of you have someone who is willing to give that much of themselves to make that happen for you. Yes....she's amazing. And we are so blessed.

Yes at the end of the day, nothing of this may work. But in the meantime I will fight. I will fight for our family and all that is possible. I want to hold on to hope that we might hold onto just a small portion of what others might take for granted. This morning, Brynn started crying at 5AM. Park of me was tired, part of me wanted to keep on sleeping. But the more important part of me had me rushing in to comfort her and give her a hug. She is such a blessing, and if we are so blessed to have another I will never forget it or take it for granted. I know people complain about having to get up early with their kids, but for that I consider myself lucky. I would love to get up with a second child. And as I said...we are beyond blessed to have a wonderful friend willing to give us that chance. Not only keep us, but her and her family in your prayers. She is an angel...and deserves nothing but the best. I'm a basic kind of girl, but yet have somehow been fortunate enough to be blessed with the striking of lightening for the best. I just wish others were so fortunate. Why we have been so lucky is beyond me, but say a little thank you for us, because we've been so fortunate. If only everyone was so blessed.

Somedays I feel like the hope of our family is so far away...but I'm still holding on.

Feed away little one

I have a dirty secret to admit that sometimes I let Brynn breastfeed nowadays for a prolonged time while I type, check email. or read the mail or talk on the phone. I'm sure she's not feeding the whole time, but she's sure to be quiet as long as I have the boob in mouth. I'm such a loser mom. Anyone else in the same boat?

There will be good days and not so good days. But I'm not out yet!

Today I feel like we have come up against a bit of our roadblock in our journey to adding to our family. As most of you know - we would love to give our daughter Brynn a sibling, and with the recommendation of our doctors feel that surrogacy will be our best option of doing so. We have an amazing friend who is willing to help us proceed along that journey. Brynn's godparents are both my best friend and my husband's best friend and are amazingly enough willing to help us with adding to our family. Yet over the last day and a half I have come across some disturbing news. I knew that by living in Michigan that compensated surrogacy was illegal, however I thought that uncompensated surrogacy was legal. I have now come to find out that Michigan along with about 4 other states are the only ones to have the most stringent surrogacy laws even persecuting unpaid surrogacy. Needless to say I'm beyond frustrated. We have a loving couple (my husband and I) wanting to transfer already fertilized embryos to a known and trusted friend to help us carry our future child. Yet because we live in the state we do it is illegal.


Brynn is bummed a bit too so she decided to give her furry sibling a little hug, LOL! (It's funny because I have caught Brynn unwilling to roll over from back to front or front to back. Yet when Neela is around she will roll over and try to snuggle. How crazy is that?)

Needess to say, I am trying to weigh all of our options. I need to talk to our RE, fertility doctor some more, I need to talk to the lawyer that I have left a message for in our area who states that she deals with our RE's office and surrogacy in Michigan. I need to talk with our friend some more, and our OB/GYN and perinatologist office who have dealt with surrogacy patients and have recommended that course to us. Needless to say this is not going to be as straight forward or simple as I thought. September may not be such a possibility. But what I know is that I want to add to our family. I feel guilty for wanting another child when we have been blessed with one such miracle already. I feel greedy. But I also know that there is nothing I won't do to give her a sibling. To hold another child of our own in my arms. I would fight to the ends of the earth for that...so because of that I will not give up so easily. Brynn deserves what every other child has, siblings, a complete family and a brother or sister. Just because she has my goofy anatomy and abnormal uterine anomalty to deal with doesn't mean that she shouldn't have what every other child has. And to boot...she has the means available through my amazing friend to make that happen. Our struggle now is just to figure out how to make that happen. But I will do that ...I must. For both her benefit and our own....I will find a way to make this happen.

Hopefully it is okay with her, but I have been blessed enough to have the help of someone here through the blogosphere to help start the process to make this happen. She is an amazing person and has pointed me in the right direction to start making some progress. So for that, I thank you. You have given me hope when I felt a bit down. After talking with you on the phone today I feel re- energized!

So for now, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I'm not sure if things are going to work out or not. But I sure do know that I would love to have another little one to call our own. I just want the same opportunity that millions of other couples have. I want the chance to have a family. OUR FAMILY....since we have everything else lined up. We just need the legal means to do so.

It's so funny...sitting here typing this I feel such a sling of emotions...frustrated, greedy, blessed already...but even though I have my miracle sitting here in my arms....you want to know what....I still feel most of all.....INFERTILE. Will this feeling ever go away? But in the meantime...I will cherish each day I have with Brynn...I realize it is not one I will ever get back. And maybe...just maybe....we will be blessed to even get the chance to dream of another.

Brynn is still my hiccuper

Brynn and her dad spent yesterday hand in hand while I was at work.
I've written so many posts about Brynn being my little hiccuper. Yesterday while my husband was watching her for the day (he had the day off for the holiday weekend) he caught a quick glimpse of it on video. Funny how she used to keep me awake at nights when it was just her and I in the hospital when she was being monitored while I was on Mag Sulfate, hiccuping away. Then on Christmas Eve I remember being up most of the night with her and her hiccups. And then here she is at five months old in her exersaucer hiccuping away! She looks a bit like a drunken sailor in the video since my hubby didn't put blankets along side her. Yet he said she still was having a good old time. Hopefully everyone had a nice holiday season and I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone!



We also booked our week trip to Chicago in June. I'm really excited for a vacation and best of all we decided to take my friend's sister as a nanny since we rented an apartment downtown adjacent to the Mag Mile and shopping. That way we'll be able to hang out with Brynn during the day and still be able to have a few quite dinners just the two of us. Hopefully it'll all work out well and be something that might work for future vacations as well. My parents will watch Neela and she'll have her own doggie vacation at grandma and grandpa's. I don't know whose more excited...us or them!
Easter weekend was great - I'll have to upload and post some photos tomorrow. Friday night my hubby and I went out for another date night with my friend's sister watching Brynn and Neela, we ate some Mexican, had some margaritas, got a bit tipsy, did some shopping (bought more clothes for Brynn AGAIN), and stopped at Dave and Busters (a place you can play games like skeeball, basketball, video games and other fun stuff while drinking and having adults night out only. Saturday we went to Ohio and spent it with my in laws and then Sunday spent time at with my family. As I said, hopefully everyone had a great weekend and I'm trying to catch up with each blog! Ah yes...five months and counting til round 2...Holy crapola!

My teenage sleeper

Brynn is totally my little teenager today. She wouldn't go to sleep until 11:30PM last night and today has wanted to sleep in until 11AM. Seems she thinks she a little teenager today, LOL!

Five months old and folic acid

Well Brynn turned five months old, and although my husband and I were pretty excited for her, as you can see - she spent most of the day sleeping! In fact she fell asleep with her pacifier half hanging out of her mouth, and when she was sucking it in her sleep it was popping in and out - like Maggie from the Simpsons does with her pacifier. I know every mom says that their kid grows up so fast, but she really has even from week to week.

As I said before, Brynn broke the 11 pounds mark this month - almost tripling her birth weight. These days I hate to curse things....but she sleeps through the night almost all the time. She might wake up here and there with a short cry, but it's usually just brief and she falls back asleep. Her typical days when I'm home have fallen a bit into something that resembles a schedule. Although - I say that loosely, but still I know how lucky we are to have any sense of a schedule.

When I'm off from work it's usually:
7AM I wake up and pump
8AM-9AM Brynn wakes up and either bottle or breastfeed with her Zantac
9:30 - 11AM play or other stuff (like being carried - still not fond of the swing)
11-1 or so hopefully nap, I pump again
12 or 1 wake up and bottle or breastfeed
1 - 3 awake and play, bath, etc., I pump again, Zantac
3:30 - 5 nap hopefully
4:30/ 5ish - bottle or breastfeed
5- 7PM Brynn awake, I pump once the hubby gets home and takes over baby duty
7-8:30 PM Brynn sleeps on the hubby in the recliner
9:00PM last night time bottle (usually formula) plus Zantac, I pump for the last time
10:30 - 11PM settles down for bed and goes to sleep.

When I work Brynn's days starts a bit earlier around 5AM at my parent's house when I drop her off, but it usually just includes an additional bottle and 2 hour nap between 5 and 9AM or so. I need to finally make a decision on a high chair (thank you for your imput to those of you I've asked!) because I'd like to start some cereal over the next few weeks with Brynn. Although I know I won't need one right away - I'm sure it'll be no time before it'll come in handy.

Brynn's reflux is doing a ton better these days with the feeding routine we use, I thankfully can say. I also love those Playtex DropIn bottles and liners. They make feedings so easy! She has spent the last few days and nights getting used to sleeping in her crib as well.
Although she still fits easily in her bassinet, by the time she's 6 months I know she'll have outgrown it.
Part of it makes me sad because she'll no longer be our very little girl, but part of me is so excited with how far she's come. I have to admit the transition from bassinet to crib is going way easier than I though it would. (Don't worry - I took all the stuff animals out before we put Brynn down to sleep.) Neela now sleeps at the bottom of the crib on the floor in Brynn's nursery or on the chair nearby to watch over her little sister as she sleeps. As soon as Brynn stirs, Neela runs to wake us up. Neela is way better than any baby monitor, video or otherwise, LOL!

Brynn's still not too fond of tummy time, but my husband is pretty good with getting her to roll over a few times at night from tummy to back. Just over the last couple of weeks has she gotten to be better at this. Some nights she doesn't do it at all, and other times it's a bunch. She loves things that light up and play music, sucking on both thumbs now and her burp cloths, and she is just beginning to discover her toes. Although I usually play this Little Piggy goes to Market with her...the first time she grab her toes with her own hands a light went on in her head. Like "Wow, those are my toes!" She still doesn't have any teeth yet, but that's OK with me since it makes breast feeding easier. Oh yeah...she is loving breast feeding! Weird since it took her the last two months to decide that she loved it, since the first three she wouldn't touch the boobies. I had no idea kids did that, but my little weirdo has.

She also has loved forward facing in her Baby Bjorn. Until they're 8-9 lbs you have to leave them rear facing, and Brynn is totally loving looking forward when the hubby carries her around the house. She also loves looking at her reflection in the mirror. My dad (her grandpa) is famous for this one and will spend a half hour making silly faces with her in the mirror. She shrieks with delight. And yes..the verbal changes. She makes so many new noises and pitches over the last few weeks. She will make noises and pause waiting for you to make sounds or words back like you're having a conversation. She also will try to talk (shriek or coo?) to the characters on the TV. It's enough to make your heart melt!

And last but certainly not least is changes in poo. What post from a nurse mommy wouldn't be complete without poo talk. Brynn has completely changed her poo schedule from pooing 5 times a day to once every 6 days. That is a huge difference! And yes, watch out. When the poo does let loose, you better be wearing goggles, LOL! At first this greatly alarmed me....But hey, we're flexible right?

I also starting taking my folic acid and multivitamin more religiously. I'm not sure what our meeting with our RE will bring in just 8 short weeks. If their suggestion is to do a fresh IVF cycle versus using our frozen embryos come September, then it'll only be about 4 months or so before I start on our medication schedule. I know how important it is to have decent levels of your folic acid up to 3 months ahead of time so I figure it's a good time to get my butt in gear just in case. I also need to start looking more closely at the other things we need to do to get our surrogacy journey in check. This is all so exciting, overwhelming and crazy it's enough to make my head spin!

Thank you again for always following along with us - I give you all a big bloggy hug!

Hospital Bill

As a crazy sidenote...I got our final hospital bill from my stay from 27-34 weeks gestation and it was $126,700. That doesn't include my stay at 22 weeks or 25 weeks when I was contracting and received terbutaline and procardia. Also not included is my cerclage ($12,000) or my D &C afterwards ($6,000). Crazy....thank heavens for insurance! Even though I work in the medical field I'm shocked at the costs. Even though Brynn took a lot to get here that wasn't covered by insurance ($30,000 +) since Michigan doesn't have infertility coverage...I have to think that surrogacy is still going to be cheaper to the medical field. Even though I complain about our cruddy hospital based insurance...the final cost of it all....$10. (Plus the $30,000 out of pocket due to infertility treatments...but that is A -OK) Yup. What a blessing!

There I did it again!

Can't believe it's been a whole week since I posted...I swear, some days go quickly and others like when I'm at work drag by! Brynn is doing great - she will be 5 months old tomorrow and has changed so much in the last week or so. I'll save most for her 5 month birthday post so that I'll have it to remember. However, one thing that she has come to love recently is getting a bath. The picture is from her bath this past Sunday - she used to scream so loudly the whole time I put her in the baby tub, but now she smiles, splashes around and loves to kick her feet in there. She coos and smiles and occasionally lets out a squealing shriek of delight. Next she flashes me a toothless grin. Yup, still no teeth. But that's okay - plenty of time ahead for that!

Last week I had a couple of midnight schedules which went off without a hitch and then on the weekend my friend's sister watched Brynn so we could have a date night. When getting ready Saturday night I realized it was the first time my husband had been out to a nicer restaurant just the two of us since Brynn had been born. I actually wore a skirt with tights and my black boots. It was a far cry from my normal mom sweat pants and long sleeved t-shirt. We hit up a restaurant called Ocean Prime and I had some yummy pecan crusted salmon. Then afterwards we did some shopping and stopped for a few drinks at our favorite bar while watching Michigan State in the Final Four basketball game. We tried not to do the typical new parent thing by talking about Brynn the whole time, but it was hard not to think about my favorite girl several times. In fact, while shopping I of course had to buy her a new 6 month sleeper for the months ahead. Don't worry - I did buy a new pair of shoes and some shirts from J Crew for myself, LOL!

Then Sunday night "It Happened AGAIN." What you might ask..well it involves a late night pumping session. Although several nights I no longer get up to pump if Brynn is actually sleeping through that night, I happened to be up at 3AM this Sunday night. After feeding Brynn, I pumped and was taking my milk and Medela parts out into the kitchen. Normally the lights are off in the kitchen and I leave the adjacent room lights on. But for some reason I happened to flip the lights in the kitchen on and while I was cleaning off my Medela horns in the sink I looked up and locked eyes with my next door neighbor coming into his side door. He is a 50+ recently divorced dad who is to politely say...well...a little creepy. Not sure why, just creepy is the vibe you get. Also, why he was coming in at 3AM on a Sunday, who knows? This 3AM eye locking shouldn't have been a big deal, but I noticed he was looking at me a bit strangely before ducking into his house. I glanced down and realized that I had not put my shirt back on after pumping! I must have been so tired in the middle of the night I didn't noticed. I had officially flashed my creepy neighbor AGAIN. Yes, I had actually done this same thing a few months ago but was too ashamed and embarrassed to admit it. However, to do it once was embarrassing. I am now officially mortified and am not sure how I will ever look him in the face again when I bump into him outside. Needless to say, I will be especially careful not to be shirtless any time soon!

Yesterday I worked my 12 hour day for the week and it was a pretty good day. I did one of my bigger cases since I've returned to work by myself being a thoracotomy and it felt good to be back in the swing of things. I placed the double lumen endotracheal tube correctly on the first time and was able to place the arterial line on the diabetic patient without too much trouble, so that helped me a little better about getting back to the normal routine of things. In the afternoon I was in the lithotripsy room and we broke up quite a few kidney stones. The click click click of the litho machine makes me swear I hear that noise in my sleep when I go home. On each patient about 2500- 3000 clicks (or hits to the stone to break it up) occurs so you get that rhythmic noise stuck in your head. I also actually got to pump three times during my 12 hour shift instead of the normal two so that was a double perk! I'm loving the new on call room suites that they built outside the OR that I can use on break to pump, instead of having to pump in a more public room. Each room has a recliner, TV, bed, and phone. So it's a really nice set up.

Well I totally need to get caught up on everyone's blogs from the past week. I've been missing in action and I always feel badly when I miss something that has happened for someone. Today Brynn is napping away after getting her Pentacil and Prevnar vaccines. She weighed in at a whooping 11 pds, 4 oz. Which is the 2nd percentile...Beefcake! But more importantly, for the first time she had no developmental delays according to what the pediatrician was looking for. A very good day indeed! Now only if I could get rid of the 6 inches of snow we got yesterday. It's April and Easter week, what's up with that, LOL!