12 week ultrasound and a new game plan

UPDATE: My cerclage officially scheduled for Wednesday at noon. I talked to people at work and my friend is going to do the anesthesia portion, yay. Also, my favorite L & D nurse is on to circulate and take care of me afterwards. Makes me feel slightly better :-)





(Here's Spot waving at us with all five digits of their right hand!)

Yesterday I had my weekly OB appointment and ultrasound. I expected my normal excitement at seeing little Spot wiggling around on the screen, an update on my previa, a boring cervix measurement and shooting the breeze with my OB a little and then returning home. Yeah, that would have been nice. I did get my ultrasound which had Spot booty wigglin once again, along with reaching their right hand over their head! Also, low and behold, my previa moved just a little bit! But what I got after that wasn't so cool. The ultrasound tech whom I've gotten to know pretty well said "your cervix is shorter than last week." My next stop was down the hall to see my OB, so I quickly dressed and jetted down with DVD and photos of Spot in tow. After he entered, I could tell immediately that my OB looked concerned (another downfall of working with him for 8 years at the same hospital - we know each other very well.) He told me that last week the readings were around 3.3-3.5 (they take three measurements and average them). This week my average was around 2.6 with the lowest number being well below the magic 2.5 line they use as a cutoff for "badness" as we always joke.

So while originally we had not planned on doing a prophylactic cerclage if my cervix was fine at the start of my pregnancy, this was now completely different. The benefit of prophylactic cerclage for a first time pregnancy does not outweigh the risk if the patient has no history of second trimester loss, etc. Since this was my first pregnancy, I obviously don't have a history to support doing a cerclage, "just because." But now that my cervix is getting way too short way too fast, we don't really have any other options and it is no longer considered prophylactic, but rather therapeutic. Basically, now we have a compelling reason. It is not an emergency yet, so we have it scheduled for next Wednesday. I know cerclages are not foolproof - they can fail, and if this fails to work over following weeks I will be delivering a nonviable baby, but I can't think about that right now. Nor can I think of the fact that most people who are considered early at beginning to dilate and have cervix shortening do it much later like 16 weeks or so, but I have somehow started this at 12 weeks. I am just so so grateful that we started the weekly monitoring so early. Most peris or OBs don't monitor cervix length on unicornuates until 14 weeks or so. By then who the hell knows what mine would be. I'm officially off work "for the rest of my pregnancy." Ouch, 12 weeks and told that I will not be returning to work until 2009 sometime, this is something I'm going to have to take awhile to digest. I suppose I need to figure out what kind of paperwork I need to start doing!

On a lighter note, while waiting in my OB's office for my appointment today, I picked up a magazine to pass the time. It was Metro Parent, and I flipped to the feature article with Jennifer McCa.rthy. It was with Jennifer discussing the well known struggle with her son's autism. But what made me stop and smile was what appeared near the title and ending of the article. It said written by Pauline _____ a free lance writer from _____, MI. Pauline is my friend who I have mentioned in the past. I was so proud to be able to think, yup I know her...that's my friend. That's the girl who was there the day I met my husband 11 years ago. The girl who moments after my husband proposed to me in college I ran into as she was coming back from the computer lab carrying a stack of papers for her class assignment. I literally ran into her and gave her a hug and caused her to drop the stack of 200+ pages of paper to be blown across campus. Instead of being pissed off, she hugged me back. That was 8 years ago. Girl I was so proud to see your name in print while just waiting for a doctor's appointment! If you get a chance stop by and give Pauline a congrats.

Tuesday night I really wanted a cheeseburger from McDon.alds. First of all, I rarely ever eat fast food. When my husband and I were ordering, I chimed in "a cheeseburger , with extra pickles please." What the f--k? I don't even like pickles, let alone extra ones. My husband looked at me with relief in his eyes. He whispered to me, does this mean you're actually pregnant? It's funny how a pickles from McDo.alds can make more of a believer out of you than a doctor telling you "yes things will be fine." Most people would think we are odd, but when I am used to waking up to a toilet filled with blood once a week, I'll take the solace and peace of mind coming from any source these days. Even if it's pickles from McDon.alds. You know what else? The pickles were great!

Shoes and rose awards, oh my!

I forgot to mention last time I posted that this past weekend was great for another reason as well. I added another member to my shoe baby family. Here is a picture of the latest member.

Let me digress for a moment. You may be asking, well how did the two (or should I say three?) of you meet. Well it began innocently enough. In fact, I wasn't even looking to meet up with any "shoes" that day. Instead, I entered Nord.stroms looking instead for some summer tops that could bridge the way between my current wardrobe and finally taking the dive to visit the maternity section of store (something I can't quite do yet). On my walk to the escalator I caught the most beautiful sight out of the corner of my eye. There to the left of me there she sat. "Hello Lover," quickly came to mind (the words of a one of the most brilliant shoe shoppers of all time). I was instantly drawn to her, perhaps it was her easy light summer radiance. As I got closer I saw that not only was she cute and darling, but she would be comfortable as well, since she was a Born sandal. I quickly decided that she must be mine, I edged myself in front of the pack of hungry sandal devouring women and asked quietly for a (gasp size 9 1/2 - large feet I know). Quickly I was delighted to find out that they were both comfortable and cute, and I even had some room to grow in them as my feet will likely expand a little in the months to come. Needless to say, an hour later we all were home at last. I was even feeling brave enough to introduce the latest member of my shoe family to my husband. He just smiled and said, "yes honey, they are cute."

Thanks for letting me do some self indulgence into my secret world of shoe obsession. But now onto something of more substance.

Last week Scarred Bellybutton gave me the Pink Rose Award. She's a fellow UUer who has been so supportive over the last few months. When my IVF cycle was threatened to get cancelled last minute due to poor response she filled my email with support and encouragement and helped me keep my sanity. She has taught me that support can come from many places, even different continents! So thank you.

So now I definitely want to pass on the Pink Rose Award myself:

Admin who also has a f-ed up uterus. We seem to be sharing this pregnancy journey in both good and bad ways, similar bumps and bruises. But no matter what always has the right words to make me smile and realize things will be okay. Plus her posts are witty and honest and always make me smile.

Farah who is kind and sweet and is an extremely open minded person. She has been ultra supportive as well and always points me in the right direction when I have a question. She is the first one who introduced me to blogging, and I've been a blogging junkie ever since, so thanks - does that make you my blogging dealer?

Becca who has kind of been my other UU half. Just when her and I thought we should throw in the towel, we both got some good news. She was especially supportive when both her and I were trying to make sense of this whole UU thing, and figuring out how to deal with things.

Pauline has been my friend forever and we've only gotten closer over the years. I've loved watching her grow in so many ways both as a friend, mom, and writer. She has had her own journey with trying to get pregnant and then roller coaster pregnancy as well. If you look under the dictionary for supportive you would find her picture along with my friend M. Which leads me to my last person.

My friend M. I know she doesn't technically have a blog or anything, but I can't list people under this and not mention her. She should honestly give lessons on what it means to be selfless and giving. As I mentioned before, she offered to do a surrogacy for us if we were unable to have me carry a child for whatever reason (UU, failed IVFs, etc). And it wasn't one of those, "oh..I would be willing to helps" it was a "I WILL HELP YOU." I could try to say in words why she deserves some thanks, an honor, some kind of friend award, whatever. Yet I wouldn't even be able to say in words what her relationship means to me for that reason and so many more. But I think she realizes that I'm not the best at saying what's on my mind, and she will always be like a sister to me.

I honestly could go on about so many other people too, but this is getting long as is! Here's a little more about the pink rose award. But first please stop by Kym who was the one to start passing this along. She has just completed a gestational surrogacy IVF transfer and please flood her with good wishes and support during the wait. She has given so much of herself for these women who need help, and it's the least we can do for her!

Here’s what to do:
1. On your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: http://smartone.typepad.com/smartone/2008/05/pink-is-my-favo.html. You will find the story behind the Pink Rose Award and other graphics to choose from there.
2. Select as many award recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chosen them.
3. Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.

I can't believe that I might have to have my husband bring in some of our flowers we put out over the weekend because there is a "frost advisory" tonight as the weather could be in the 30s. Yesterday it was well into the 80s. Leave it to MI to go from 80 to 30 degrees in 36 hours. Ugh! But at least both the Pistons and Red Wings won last night, Yay! Well, I already am getting excited for tomorrow's appointment and seeing little Spot again. Maybe 12 weeks will be one of the last times that Spot poses for their portrait on ultrasound that I will have to say "he" or "she" (I know it's still way too early). I can't wait to find out what we're having, hopefully Spot will cooperate with revealing that as the weeks progress and it becomes possible!

12 weeks holy crap

Well I don't know whether I'm more surprised that today is actually Memorial Day and the unofficial start of summer, or the fact that I'm actually 12 weeks today.


Some things that I thought were pretty cool about Spot at 12 weeks were:

* The fetus is now about 2.5 inches (6cm) length and weighs about 0.7 ounce
* The feet are almost half an inch (1cm) long.
* The fetus starts moving spontaneously.
* The face is beginning to look like a baby's face.
* The pancreas is functioning and producing insulin.
* Fingernails and toenails appear.
* The baby can suck his thumb, and get hiccups.

Alright, if poor Spot takes after their mom - the kid is doomed to have huge feet. Especially if Spot is a girl, I wish I could tell her to enjoy these early days of having half inch long feet, she'll miss them when she inherits my size 9 1/2. Actually I think my feet are threatening to skim the size 10 region anyday now. Hopefully Spot will be tall so that he or she doesn't look like Boozoo the clown (short height - big feet, you get the picture). I do think it's cool that Spot can do more "human like things" - I wonder if they do simultaneous thumb sucking hiccups? Now that would be something to catch on ultrasound!

Your baby now has a chin and a nose and a facial profile. Vocal chords are complete, and the baby can and does sometimes cry silently. The brain is fully formed, and the baby can also feel pain. The fetus may even suck his thumb. The eyelids now cover the eyes, and will remain shut until the seventh month to protect the delicate optical nerve fibers. The hair is on the head and the fingers and toes have developed soft nails. The kidneys are developed and begin to secrete urine. Your baby weighs between 0.5 and 0.7 ounce (14 to 20g), and crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches (63mm). Your baby's size has almost doubled in the past 3 weeks.


It's crazy to think that just a little over a month ago Spot was literally just a spot on an ultrasound screen. Now that he or she can actually move, silently cry, feel pain (I like to think of feel happiness more so), and make urine - it's just mind boggling. My next OB appointment and glimpse of the little one will be in two days on Wednesday. I'll inevitably get another cervix check as well since it comes with the deal. I think together the transvaginal ultrasound and cervix check are meal #3 on the extra value meal board, or is it #4, right below the double cheeseburger? I'll have to pay more attention next time, hehe. What I'm hoping for most is that my OB will give me the OK to return to work for a day later in the week. I feel like I've been off forever. In actuality, I've been able to pick up a day here and there. But last week when my spotting became much heavier and much redder, I was told "no way girl, not for now at least." It's only been a weeks since then, but over the last two months, I've only had two weeks that I actually worked my measily part time schedule that I had already been reduced to my by high risk doctor. I don't know why I'm in such a rush to work, perhaps because it allows me to feel more "normal," like things are going smoothly?


All in all, I had a great holiday weekend so far. On Friday night we attended a private opening dinner for a new restaurant nearby. Our friend was in from out of state, and he was one of the people responsible for getting things off the ground and running for the new place, so he invited us along. The food was great, atmosphere was very fun, and they have live music on the weekends. Most importantly, it was just great to get a chance to see our friend since he lives out of state. He's one of my husband's oldest friends and hopefully he will be returning permanently to MI in the near future. Saturday night we went out with another couple we haven't seen in quite awhile. We hit up one of our favorite restaurants to watch sporting events at and have dinner (the picture is my friend L and I that night). It was a big night for basketball with the Pistons in the Eastern Coast Finals, and hockey with the Red Wings playing for the Stanly Cup. I'm actually more of a basketball fan, so I was bummed that the Pistons lost, but at least the Wings crushed the other team 4-0. I celebrated by devouring a chocolate cookie sundae with my husband for dessert. It was a large soft gooey cookie topped with ice cream, hot fudge and whip cream. Holy crap, carbohydrate coma!

I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend. If you get a chance, stop by KCMarie and wish her luck, she's in the middle of a very important two week wait and I'm sure could use a kind word or two. Irish Girl just got the famous "big box" that all you IVFers are too familiar with and all the daunting feelings that go along with the lovely needles and all - so go wish her some good thoughts for the weeks ahead also, if you would be so kind.

Tag I'm it.

My internet has been down along with our TV for the last day and a half thanks to our lovely cable company. I think I actually started shaking about 11 AM this morning, withdrawls perhaps? I also seem be having trouble with our scanner so I'll have to post Spot's 11 week picture later sometime. But my OB appointment yesterday went well. Spot was moving all around arms, legs and all! I still have a complete previa, but as long as the baby is doing fine, I can deal with that. My cervix was 3.3 shorter by just a tad from last week when it was 3.4 - but I'm trying not to obssess over that this early on. I'm having a bit more red spotting today than I was earlier in the week so I'll keep a close eye on stuff tonight to make sure I don't have a repeat of Mother's Day weekend.

I've been tagged by A uterus divided and by Pauline. I think I mentioned anything really interesting about myself either here or here, but I'll put on my creativity and try to come up with some new stuff :-)

1. My dog has been to Texas and I have not - therefore I'm a bit jealous. As I mentioned before, we got her from a dog breeder in Texas, bought her a plane ticked in coach and had her flown to us here in MI. She also uses a litter box since we don't have a fenced in backyard. It is made by Purina and we keep it in our back room. Unlike cat litter, doggie litter looks like big foam packing pellets similar to the stuff Fed Ex ships your package in. Maybe one day I'll take a picture of her in the act since people often look at me is disbelief when I tell them about her.

2. I was not a party girl in high school, I was a bit boring. However, my first week of freshman year in college I drank too much at my husband's (at the time boyfriend) fraternity party. He took me back to his dorm room to sleep it off. But a few minutes later I rolled over from the bottom bunk and vomited all over his poor roommate's alarm clock that was plugged in on the floor. Immediately it started smoking so my husband poured water on it so it would not further catch fire. Needless to say we bought his roommate a new, even nicer alarm clock, apologized perfusely, and I learned not to drink that much again. His roommate is still one of his best friends, stood up in our wedding, and we all still laugh about the smoking alarm clock story.

3. I have never been in a car accident with a moving vehicle. That being said, I have hit a stationary object with every car that I have ever know. No, people have never been involved...I'm not that bad. I'm not sure if I'm a bad driver or depth perceptionally challenged. I would rather like to think of myself as a good driver who has a magnetic field around her car that causes objects to be drawn to me while I drive. Yes people I am in denial.

4. To further elaborate on number 3. In high school I had a Contour - while I was trying to sell yearbook adds in the city offices, I hit a parked police car. Yes, the police department still bought a full page add from me. In college I had a Escort, I hit construction barrels on my way to work at Hudson's in the snow while I was turning. Yes my passanger side mirror had to be repaired. When we got married I leased a Sebring. One morning I was backing out of our long narrow driveway of our bungalow when I nicked the passanger side mirror on the siding of our kitchen overhang. Yes it was below zero and yes the siding cracked and had to be replaced. However, I did not hit the rest of our house which is brick, and no the car didn't have to be repaired for once. Then a couple of years ago I leased a Jeep Grand Cherokee. One day I was running late for our golf league with the girls from work. I jumped in my car and hit reverse. Ooppss, crash. I had forgotten that our cleaning lady's car was parked directly behind me. Yes that one was especially hard to explain both to her and my husband. Yes my husband just rolled his eyes, and yes we still use the same cleaning lady now. I just got my new car and am dreading what new adventures I'll have in that one!

4. Aside from having my strange unicornuate uterus that leaves one fallopian tube absent, and a smaller mishaped uterus - I also have a misplaced kidney on the right side as well. During embryo development, the kidneys develop at the same time as the tubes and uterus. Therefore many people with a unicornuate uterus are often mising a kidney, a uretar or have other urologic defects. Luckily, my kidney is not in the normal position, but it is attached and functions just fine. Personally, I could care less where my right kidney likes to hang out in my body as long as it keeps doing it's job!

5. I met my husband while helping my friend's boyfriend move in at college. At that same time, I also met my friend Pauline who was a current friend of my husband at the time. We weren't close at the time, but I later learned that I was one of the first girls that she actually approved of that my husband dated. I guess Pauline told my husband at the time not to "f--k this one up because she actually thought I was nice." I didn't learn about this until years later, when Pauline and I actually became friends ourselves. Apparently she thought he didn't date "quality" girls prior to me. Well, regardless I'm glad he didn't F- things up and we're all still close friends!

6. I have some of the best friends and family a girl could ask for. If this IVF had not worked for us, both my sister and my dear friend M. had offered to be a gestational surrogate for us due to our troubles conceiving and possibly carring the child with my uterus. My friend M still offers since this pregnancy has been rocky and a little unstable from the get go - that she is still willing to do a gestational surrogacy for us if we want to try for another child. Honestly, I am about the most blessed girl in the world. My other friend Pauline has been the most ultra concerned person a girl could ask for and has offered to do everything and anything to help us short of the kitchen sink.

Now I tag Candi at this IVFing Life and Elizabeth a fellow UUer, Sully, Pink, and Irish Girl. Also tagged is anyone else who would be so kind as to share some cool tidbits about yourself. I tried to tag a few people who I thought either had not been tagged, or not tagged for awhile!

Booty shakin part deux and 11 week belly shot

I guess it's about time I posted a belly shot. Here's me at 11 weeks, 3 days (don't mind the many freckles). Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who helped out with my progesterone questions - they were much appreciated!

On a completely different note, what is to follow is an embarrassing story. Proceed at your own risk!

Last night my husband was playing random sounds from the computer since my new MP3 player had come in the mail, and he was uploading some songs for me. One of the songs that must have played was the "Booty rockin everywhere" song by Bu.bba Sparxx. You know how you can get songs stuck in your head without even realizing that you heard them? Well, an hour later I was in our first floor bathroom. We live in a suburb and houses are fairly close together. If I have my bathroom window open, our neighbors driveway is about 10 feet away. Last night was warm (finally) so I had the window open. I was in a good mood, somewhat bored obviously because my husband yelled in from the front of the house something about watching TV, and my response was busting out the chorus "booty booty booty rockin everywhere. Rockin everywhere!" I am ashamed to admit I may have shaken my very uncoordinated behind while I busted out this rant. At that moment, I happen to hear a car door shut, and I looked out through the tiny slit that was open in the window. My poor neighbor was looking at my house like, huh? He must had heard the whole thing. Then he just smiled to himself and went into his house to join his wife making dinner! Later that evening I was getting something out of my car and saw him outside in his garage. He just smiled, waved and said "Hi Sara, how's it going?" I muttered some form of hi back and ducked into our house avoiding any further embarrassment :-)

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm normally quite a boring chick and normally rarely partake in things like booty shaking. Let alone random booty shakin. So my husband and I have some theories on some of my recent changes in character. The one we seem to agree on and enjoy thinking about the most involves Spot. Since on the last couple of ultrasounds Spot has revealed his/her ability to shake the rump a little in the form of on screen booty shakin, perhaps they are trying to teach their mom something new. Perhaps Spot likes Bub.ba Sparx or a similar choice of music? (I know that they can't hear outside noises yet- I'm just daydreaming...work with me people, okay?) My husband seems to think that before I broke out in my rant, Spot had already been doing some booty shakin, and it took me awhile to realize it. But once I did, that's when I started my random dancing since you know you can't stand by and know someone's having fun and not join in. At least I can't.

Anyways, hope everyone is having a great week. My next OB appointment is tomorrow, and I already can't wait to see little Spot shakin his or her rump again!

Giving in, just a little

So lately I've had to learn a few new lessons. Most tend to gravitate around giving up a little bit of control in my life. For a self diagnosed control freak with some slight OCD tendcies, to say it hasn't been easy is the understatment of the century. Here's a picture of my husband and I driving to Kro.ger to do some grocery shopping this week after he got off of work. (He took the picture himself at a stop light, hence the odd angles.) Since I have been forbidden under penalty of the threat of a lashing by all around me (most importantly my OB and Peri) to push or pull things like grocery carts, hospital carts with patients, or lift anything over 5-10lbs these days I have had to re-adjust the way I do things. Simple things like a trip to get stuff for dinner involves planning, coordinating with my husband's work schedule if it's midweek, and overrall being a little more organized to avoid unneccessary running around.

The whole time of the almost six years we've been married, we've pretty much stuck to our set ways when it comes to dividing up household activites. I can count on one hand how many times I have taken out trash, or he has grocery shopped because we're each used to doing "our things." Part of why I have even been going with him to do stuff like grocery shopping, or have him help me do some stuff around the house is as much to help out later, as well as now. I guess we kind of look at it like training someone to replace you at work, while you're still there to do some of it- with the hopes of an easier transition later on? It seems a bit odd I know.

I have always partially expected that when I got pregnant, later on in the pregnancy I may have some restricted activity and not be able to do all the things I like to, or even do on a boring daily routine. But I didn't think I would have to be so dependant on others already this early at the 10 week mark. At work, I usually have to be assigned to places like L & D which doesn't involve pushing a patient's cart in and out of the OR, but rather just involves epidurals. Or if I am in the OR, my manager has been assigning a CRNA student to be with me for the day, so that they can help move patients from a cart to the OR table, or to and from recovery and preop. I guess I feel like I've had a loss of control over certain things. I know things could be so much worse, I could be 20 some or 30 some weeks on hospital bedrest. I just worry that if I'm 10 weeks with a lot of restrictions, what will 20 or even 30 weeks be bringing? Does anyone have one of those nifty crystal balls I could borrow that you can see the future in? I promise I will return as soon as I'm done using it and I'll even polish it up a bit for you!

I should have known this wouldn't be a typical pregnancy straight from the start, but I think I still hung onto some hope that maybe just maybe once I saw those magic double lines of a HPT, or got that dramatic phone call from a nurse a switch would flip. Suddenly, I would just be a pregnant woman like any other. Infertility, IVF, and other phrases would be tossed under the carpet never to be thought of again. But when I look back and realize that two nurses, a RE, and two coworkers were there at the moment our child was conceived - life including this pregnancy would never quite be normal again. Or even looking further back to last year when I had my HSG and my doctor told me I had a unicornuate uterus. My reply was, oh those are pretty common right? He said "no not exactly, I may get one here and there but it's only about 1 in 6000 women." Things would never quite be the same again, including tossing any thoughts of having a completely normal pregnancy out the window.

But I've decided I can go about this one of two ways. I can sit and sulk and imagine the worst. I can complain about everything I can't do right now, the lack of feeling like I'm having a normal pregnancy, the thought that I'm missing out on things, and the self loathing that I feel could start to creep in. Or, I guess I can give in a little. I can try to accept that my husband can do things as good as I can (with a little help) since he is willing to do whatever is needed right now without complaining. I can start to lean on the support system around me, that has always been there, even though I've shunned any form of help in the past due to perhaps being the control freak I am. I can think that if I'm fortunate to make it to 20 or 30 weeks that I am so blessed, and therefore who the heck cares what it brings.

But I have to be realistic, it's going to take a little work to completely flip to that positive mindset. But I realize it's something I have to do and must do. I've never been a complainer, nor will I be one now. But it's defintely going to be a learning process for me, and unfortunately for all around me as well, hee hee! So bear with me in my ramblings as I make the transition. Every now and then I may revert, but I'm going to have to change my ways to see this whole pregnancy thing out to the end. My main motivation? The crazy surreal idea, that after all this I may actually get to take home a little one if things go well. That's the big goal, the big prize, the little miracle we've been waiting years for. I think I can make some adjustments to make that happen, to complain about them just seems absurd when you look at it that way. But honestly guys, I wasn't joking...where can I find one of those little crystal ball things? Certainly one of you must have one!

My new hobby, and a progesterone question all in one!

I just wanted to share a picture of myself enjoying my latest hobby. It's something I try to squeeze into my schedule at least once or twice a week. In fact, I was thinking as a side business perhaps I should look into designing a more comfortable table or chair to enjoy the experience in. Perhaps a comfy recliner type chair that allowed you to "put your feet up" for the exhilarating experience? I wonder if any infertility patients or bleeding first trimester pregnant women have contacted La.zy Boy for their input. Here's me enjoying that new hobby at that maternal fetal medicine (MFM) office before our appointment with my peri last week. I can't believe I was missing out on this one of a kind experience my whole life before fertility treatments. So many women out there don't know what they're missing (cold gel, the dildo cam...ahh the memories we'll have :-) Shhhh, don't let the cat out of the bag or else there will be a run on transvaginal ultrasounds at a RE's or MFM office near you, leaving none for the rest of us!

When I was at my OB doctor's office yesterday, he shared with me the dictation notes from the MFM appointment last week that the peri had written. Most dealt with the complications possible for person with a unicornuate uterus during pregnancy. I always appreciate it when my doctor shares my actual chart with me so that we are completely on the same page, including notes from a consult appointment he referred me to. I have to love the last line summary of the notes written by my peri "in summary, discussed with patient (me) issues of a unicornuate uterus such as preterm labor, most likely breech presentation, IUGR, uterine rupture, incomptent cervix and other complications likely to occur in at least greater than 50% of each pregnancy. Hmmmm, my first honest reaction....YIKES! Or perhaps, what the f--k! Then I thought, what the heck...lets throw a complete previa in the mix! But to be honest, it's not something I didn't somewhat know before. I think it just hit home a little more now that I'm actually pregnant and saw it in a dictation note from a respected physician.

Sometimes medical lingo gets thrown around at appointments that my husband attends, leaving me to later when we get home find a website that explains the appointment in clearer terms. My husband is probably one of the smartest people I know, but that's one of the downfalls of me going to physicians I work with, also as a patient. Often at appoinments they skip over some things that they would explain to everyone else and my husband is left going, "huh?" I can only imagine it's how I feel when he comes home from work spouting off facts about telematics, infotanment equipment and things more involved than 802.11. ALthough, I'm proud to say I finally understand binary numbers after all these years, something he's quite proud of teaching me :-)

So anyways when looking for so additional information for my husband, I found this and I thought this website summarized problems with a unicornuate uterus well.

What effect do uterine abnormalities have?




A unicornuate uterus (a womb with one 'horn') happens when the tissue that forms the womb does not develop properly. This is a very rare condition. A unicornuate uterus is just half the size of a normal womb and the woman has only one fallopian tube. However, she usually has two ovaries. Often there is a simultaneous abnormality of the kidneys, such as one kidney instead of two, diagnosable by abdominal ultrasound or, more specifically, by a special kidney x-ray study called an intravenous pyelogram.

On fertility: Women with a unicornuate uterus may have difficulties conceiving, because they have only one fallopian tube. However, pregnancy in women with this condition is far from unknown. In general, uterine abnormalities do not prevent a woman from getting pregnant, but they may make it more difficult for her to carry a baby for the full nine months of pregnancy.

On pregnancy: Women with uterine abnormalities, particularly unicornate uterus, are more likely to have complications during pregnancy or delivery, whether the baby was conceived spontaneously or by Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), compared with women with normal shaped uteri.

If the uterus is an unusual shape, many babies will settle into the breech position rather than into the normal head-down position. If you are expecting a breech baby you will be offered a caesarean because this is currently considered the safest way for the baby to be born.

If you have a unicornuate or bicornuate uterus you may go into premature labour because there comes a point where there simply isn't enough room for the baby to grow any more, and over-stretching of the womb triggers labour. Alternatively, the cervix (neck) of an abnormally shaped womb may not be strong enough to keep the baby inside and it opens too early and lets the baby out. This is called a weak cervix, sometimes called an "incompetent cervix" and it tends to be a problem for women with an abnormally shaped uterus who are expecting their first baby. The more pregnancies you have, the less of a problem it tends to be.

Sorry that this is truly a boring post, I know. It even has me yawning! Well, my bleeding actually looks like it is trying to transition to the red spotting I am more comfortable with. My OB wants me to continue the progesterone through week 12 now instead of only week 10 like previously planned due to the bleeding. Supposedly the placenta should be taking over some of that function by now, but we're continuing those extra two weeks just to be safe.

I have a question for anyone who might be able to help, so please pass it along if you would be so kind. It deals with progesterone shots at 16ish weeks. Has anyone used it at this point? My OB said that if after I stop the progesterone after 12 weeks I still have a lot of cramping and bleeding, then we'll be giving me a once a week progesterone shot to "keep my uterus quiet" and hopefully decrease the likelihood of future problems. I need to clarify the purpose of this. I understand the smooth muscle relaxant property of the drug, but I'm unclear of it's use at this particular point in the pregnancy. Is the progesterone to prevent the likelihood of preterm labor? Or is it to decrease bleeding caused by a uterus contracting too soon? Is the once a week shot continued all the way through the remaining portion of the pregnancy? Thanks in advance for you help. If you've used it before at that point, I'd love to hear why they put you on it and how long you took it for.

I hope that my uterus decides to continue to behave. I think it should learn a lesson or two from "A uterus divided". Her poor uterus gave her a run for her money this weekend as well, but is currently behaving and not causing any more bleeding. So go over and wish her a better week ahead if you get a chance. Gosh this was too long of a post. Word vomit tends to be a downfall of mine these days...sorry.

Spot's 10 week booty shakin'

Today I went in for yet another visit with my OB doctor courtesy of the weekend bleeding shenanigans. My placenta has still decided to take up residence in the wrong area, so the complete previa is still there for now. Good news is all is well with the little Spot for now. He is now officially 10 weeks old, and I made it through the weekend still pregnant, so I guess I accomplished both my goals! The bleeding has slowed down a lot since last Friday when I was sentenced to couch arrest. Did I ever mention how slowly time passes when you are occupying the same position for a few days? Although, after returning home from Ohio yesterday, I have found new meaning in the phrase Home Sweet Home. If you must be on a couch, the best one is your own!

On a more interesting note, my OB teased me that Spot was a girl since the heartbeat was even higher than last time, clicking away at 178-182 beats per minute. He also declared that Spot was a booty shakin' baby since he/she looked like they were dancing on the ultrasound screen. The upper portion (head section) was somewhat still, but the arms were moving all around and the lower half was all over the place. Spot's bottom was moving up and down. It honestly looked like Spot had entered Dancing with the St.ars (Booty Shakin' with the Stars?), and had forgotten to tell us!

I'm still on some limited activity until the bleeding has made it's grand exit. But now that it has slowed down, I'm able to do a bit more. I'll return next week for another visit, and hopefully all will be quiet until then. If you get a chance go give evil stepmonster a hug, she got her beta results in after her IVF and they're inconclusive neither positive nor negative yet. She has to wait awhile longer and go back again! That's got to be tough. I have more to update, but for now I'm wiped out and am ready to crash into bed so that's where I'll be! Thanks again for all the positive stories and encouraging words, that's what keeps a girl going!

Back to the couch you go!

Even though I haven't been nauseated in several days, I promised Sully that I had a cartoon to go along with her all day nausea, so here it is.

While I was at work Friday, I was assigned to labor and delivery again (vs the main OR). Lately though, I've loved being up in that department because recently the CRNAs at our hospital have finally been credentialed to do the epidurals ourselves on the laboring women. We no longer have to be accompanied by an anesthesiologist to do the epidural. It's so satisfying to be able to walk into a patient's room when we've been paged for an epidural, do the procedure ourselves, and see the patient have some pain relief before we even leave. Before that, we would have to wait for the anesthesiologist who was assigned to OB to come from the main OR or outpatient, which sometimes would take 10-15 minutes depending on what they were doing. Meanwhile we were with the laboring patient who was uncomfortable, and even though we are trained to do them, were unable to until recently. The patients seem more satisfied, the L & D nurses do, as well as the OB/Gyn doctors. All in all life is good up there now!

Well, yesterday I had just gotten done with an epidural, went to the restroom and discovered a nice return of the bleeding episodes I have come to know over the past weeks. I left the hospital to go home a little early and rest to see if it would stop. It actually did! My husband and I had plans for the weekend to go to his parent's house in Ohio for their wedding anniversary party that they were having 150 attending at a hall hear their home. We would stop on the way back to celebrate Mother's Day with my family on Sunday, then return home. So we packed up the car, including our dog and set off.

By the time we got to Ohio, the pesky bleeding had make a repeat visit. I emailed my OB doctor, and he answered back telling me to continue monitoring things, and that I had to spend the whole weekend on the couch. As long as the bleeding wasn't greater than X amount per hour, I could be on couch rest and house arrest until Monday. He wanted me to come in Monday for yet another ultrasound and an appointment with him. If anything increased, I should give him a call at home, or a page and meet him in our L & D department for an ultrasound and exam. I was relieved that if it increased I wasn't going to have to go through the dreaded ER on a weekend. We live in a larger metro area, and even though the hospital I work at, and my doctors practice out of is in a suburb, the wait for non life threatening visits in the ER can take hours on a weekend, sometimes several hours.

So back to the couch I go, yet again. As I write this, my husband is with his parents and the rest of his extended family at the hall their having the anniversary party at, and I have assumed the position of couch queen once more (only this time it's not my own couch, and I'm in a different state). The good thing is that my bleeding has slowed down a little, but is still heavier than it has been in previous episodes. The even better thing is that I have my dog with me to keep me company! It's amazing how when you're not at home, and you're by yourself it feels kind of lonely really quickly and time passes much slower. But my dog is snuggled up with me, actually resting her head on the pillow next to me like she's part of the couch or something. My husband has promised to show up in a little bit with some food from their dinner, but more importantly a nice sized slice of cake :-) Priorities, I know...priorities.

It's kind of ironic, the first Mother's Day that I can even come close to considering myself a mother after several years of not even being close to that statement, I'm spending curled up on the couch by myself with my dog as my closest form of companionship. My husband offered to stay home, but after driving all the way here, it seemed a bit silly for him to stay and watch me rest on a couch. Instead of getting high fives and congrats from his extended family on the news of our pregnancy on Mother's day weekend, I'm left worrying if after all this, we're actually going to be able to take a baby home in 20 or 30 something weeks. There just seems to be an eternity worth of space between some of the ladies in labor I was placing epidurals for yesterday at work, and myself almost 10 weeks pregnant. It's odd how the course of pregnancy seems so different from one woman to another. Some women haven't even seen their doctors at 10 weeks gestation, except for some lab work to confirm the pregnancy. I will only be 10 weeks in a few days, but I already feel like my doctor's office is a second home. Maybe I'll just start having my mail and calls forwarded there, what do you think?

For now, I'll keep up my current mantra of one day at a time. Current goal: remain a couch potato and try to keep my sanity until Monday's appointment. Secondary goal: make it to 10 weeks, which is also Monday. See that was easy, just make it to Monday and both goals achieved - presto! Long term goal: get complete placenta previa to move just a little bit in the following weeks so some of this bleeding stops.

I just realized that I could hear a cow mooing from the neighbor's house/yard/field whatever they call it. Being in a rural area is so funny when you're not used to it. Even funnier is the look on my dog's face as she's trying to figure out what strange creature is making that odd noise. She looks a bit bewildered! I've been tagged by KC, and I promise I'll come up with some interesting facts about myself for next post. I just think I made this post way too long already. Well, I hope everyone is having an exciting weekend. Have some excitement for me okay? Thanks again for all of your kind thoughts on Spot's last modeling picture.

9 week picture and answer session

Today I had my nine week appointment with the peri from the maternal fetal medicine group. My husband met me at their office and we got to see little Spot on the ultrasound for quite awhile. Heartbeat was ticking away at 168. The ultrasound tech did both an abdominal one and atransvag one, and then the peri came in and wanted to do a transvag one himself, so it seemed to take awhile. We got 12 cool pictures to take home, but their printer printed most of them dark. When Spot first made his grand appearance on the screen, I heard my husband gasp. I thought something was wrong, but he was just sosurprised at how much bigger Spot had gotten since he saw the ultrasound in person two weeks ago. He was most amazed to see the heart beating so clearly. Last time he saw it, it was so tiny it was hard to find. The peri also seems to think he knows where the bleeding I'm having is coming from, finally!

When we were done with the ultrasound, we sat down with the peri to talk about things. He saw a complete placenta previa right now. He said many people have this early on in pregnancy and then it moves. However, he feels like with the cramped space that the baby and placenta have due to my unicornuate uterus, it may not. Furthermore, because of the location it was at, and due to the small space of my uterus he is pretty sure that is what is causing all of the bleeding. The problem with early ultrasounds (prior to seven weeks and even 8 sometimes) is that the exact location of the placenta is not easily seen, thus explaining why it has been difficult to visualize until now.

Spot is measuring only 6 days behind, instead of the 9 days he or she was behind last week, which is great. I won't bore you with all of the details of the appointment and discussion, since the peri loves to talk and we were there over two hours. But basically we'll just continue the weekly checks and ultrasounds for right now. I'm supposed to keep them informed as to how much red spotting I have, and if I have any bleeding to let my OB or him know right away. I am so glad I can actually call it spotting and not bleeding the last few days! We will know a better idea of how my cervix looks at 12-14 weeks to know if a cerclage will appear in my crystal ball future. He wants me to continue the progesterone through week 12.

Even though the little one is only nine weeks old, I was shocked to learn that Spot already has a functioning kidney and is urinating. I find that every time I go to the bathroom now, I wonder if both Spot and I are peeing at the same time! Another interesting thing I've discovered in reading is that Spot already has some fluid in his ears and is establishing a sense of balance. Hopefully, he or she will take after my husband since I am completely uncoordinated and am always tripping over my own two feet. I'm one of those people more likely to fall going up the stairs, than down. In addition, the iris of each of Spot's eyes are functioning, yet the eyelids are still fused shut. Perhaps that is how my husband feels when he is searching for his glasses in the morning?

I always leave feeling better than when I came, after seeing the little one on the screen. The office could check all of the boxes they felt like today or labeled me however they please : severely threatened spontaneous miscarriage, complete placenta previa, unicornuate uterus....bring it on! Nothing can squash my happiness that another week has passed. We've pulled through one more week closer to having a little one to take home someday. It's still so early, but if we keep making it one more week, and one more week, then eventually we'll be beyond the point of viability. Well, this has been a long enough post as is, I guess I'll have to save the rest of my rambling for another day!

Show some love

I'll update more after my appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine, but if you get a chance in the meantime, go give La La a hug and some kind words, she's having a really scary experience right now, and has lost one of the babies.

I got a new car!

I've been trying to branch out from my pregnancy ramblings as much as I can. I don't want everyone to think that all I do is fill the day with thoughts of cramping, spotting (or bleeding on exciting days), limited activity restrictions, and worrying. Well, okay that's pretty much how I occupy my time, but not all of it! So here's an attempt as some different new more exciting topics. This weekend I got a new car!

On Saturday my husband and I continued my search for a new car since the lease on my Jeep is up in a couple of months. We didn't plan on actually leasing or buying a new car that day but we found a deal we couldn't pass up. I ended up getting a Lin.coln MKZ. I needed a car with all wheel drive since I take call for work and the roads here in MI aren't always plowed at 4AM. We were able to find one in black. Retail therapy always makes a girl feel better!

This weekend was truly a great one. We didn't do anything in particular, except normal things. Saturday we got my car, had a nice dinner out, and Sunday my mom and I went shopping to my favorite mall. Later I came home and made dinner, we took the dog for a walk and my husband worked outside. The weather Sunday was beautiful.
The best part of it all? I felt absolutely great! I even stayed awake for Desper.ate Housewives and Brothers and Si.sters . My husband looked at me and asked where his wife was and if she was coming back. I hope this feeling sticks around for awhile, a girl could get used to this :-)

Okay, just one quick update on the p - word front. Next up on Wednesday I get to see the OB from the maternal fetal medicine group (peri for short). I'll get another glimpse at Spot on ultrasound and we'll get a baseline cervix check which will continue at least every other week until we're out of the danger zone. Danger zone for incompetent cervix that is. My husband is going to meet me at their office since I'm not sure how long the appointment will last, in case he needs to jet back to work.

Well, I'm off to make some homemade enchiladas in honor of Cinco de Ma.yo. Who am I kidding, that's just an excuse for me to eat Mexican food again. And oh yeah (pssssttt... I'm nine weeks...just don't say it too loud. I don't want to scare Spot away or taunt any of his pesky bleeding comrades to appear instead.)

Attack of the puppy hamburglar

What do these two have in common? Well, they both like to steal hamburgers, or at least hamburger buns!

Yesterday when I got home from some errands I opened the door, heard some plastic crinkling followed by a big burp. The package of hamburger buns I had put on top of our refrigerator must had fallen down and my 7 pound furball ripped open the plastic, and ate four buns. Yes, the 7 pound dog ate four entire buns, and a little plastic to go with it. She probably would have eaten all eight had I not interrupted her canine feast. She actually let a large burp out, rolled on her side and looked like she was ready to fall into a carbohydrate coma of bliss. I was first worried about the plastic, but she wasn't in any respiratory distress so we were okay there. Next I was worried aboutdoggie bloat that small dogs can get that can be dangerous. But she seemed A-okay so I just watched her for any change.

Later that night when I was folding laundry she jumped up and nestled herself between the clothes. She looked at me with her big eyes like "I don't know who ate the hamburger buns, sweet old me couldn't possibly do a thing like that." Ahh, dogs are like kids in that you never know what they'll do!

On the pregnancy front things have been somewhat quiet, which I'm grateful for. I've still had some spotting every day, some days heavier than others, some days much redder than others. Still doing the limited work hours - just part time. I went to my regular OB doctor for a visit yesterday since I'm officially done with the RE. It was some what of a relief to be in a normal office with big pregnant bellies all around me. Yet it was so odd, because I felt like I shouldn't be sitting among them. As if somehow I didn't belong, there must be some mistake or something. But enough of that, maybe I'll explore that crazy thinking some other day.

I had yet another ultrasound which was great. I'm getting used to being able to see little Spot often, I've been spoiled with that. Everything was great and the heartbeat was cruising along at 170 beats per minute. Spot is still measuring about a week behind at 7.5 weeks, instead of the 8.5 it should be. But I think all of them measure either behind or ahead of schedule somewhat so I'm not even worried about that little discrepency. We set up my appointment to meet with the perinatologist at the maternal fetal medicine group (MFM) for next week to get a baseline cervix check and another ultrasound. We talked about me being co-managed by my OB and the MFM group, which was something we had discussed a few months ago. I've already met the doctor from the MFM group that I like for a preconceptual eval of my unicornuate uterus and possible complications a few months ago, so next week there shouldn't be too many surpises.

Basically I'll be seeing either my OB or the peri once a week throughout the pregnancy. My OB talked about doing weekly cervix checks to make sure it's not shortening (one of the most common complications with a unicornuate uterus is second trimester loss due to incomptent cervix). Around the 12-14 week mark we'll decide whether a cerclage is neccessary and go from there. All of the monitoring does nothing but make me feel better, I definitely won't mind making the extra trips to their offices. My OB doctor gave me his home number and cell again and told me to call at the slightest bit of sensing anything was wrong or with any changes. So to say that I left the office feeling about 100 times more comfortable would be an understatement.

Hopefully things will stay quiet until my next week Wednesday appointment. And hopefully all is well in blogland for everyone else! Until then my main goal is to put the pooch on a low carb diet until she burns off those four hamburger buns. I'm only kidding!