Lately I feel like I've regressed. As kids in school, other kids were
always labeling one another. In elementary school I was labeled the
tall girl. In high school I guess I would have been labeled a jock
since I played a sport every season. I went to a Catholic school and
since I was boring and didn't really get into trouble, I was also
labeled "Sister Sara." That one was a little unfounded...I wasn't that
innocent! I also was probably a nerd since I was valedictorian (not that this means anything, trust me!) and my two good friends were co-salutatorians. Then came college and my sorority was Tri -Sig.ma so I was called a "sigma girl." After I graduated as a nurse, every time I signed a chart at work I have to follow it with RN for legal reasons. Later that changed to CRNA when I went to anesthesia school. Yet it's still a label after my name every time I sign it at work. Sometimes when I'm at the bank I forget and add CRNA or RN after my name since I'm so used to signing it that way everyday at work!
Over the last year since I've been seeing my fertility doctor I've
accumulated some additional labels. When you check out after an appointment, the billing receipt you get to take home that explains the reason for that day's visit has several boxes that can be checked. After looking at those boxes more carefully, you quickly realize you'd rather not fit into any of them. Some include habitual aborter, endometriosis, oligomenorrhea, infertility female tubal, premature ovarian failure, polycystic ovaries, uterine abd. septum or bicornuate, etc. Until lately, I didn't fit into any of them. I always had the "other" box checked that had a line where you could write something in. Mine was always "other" -unicornuate uterus. I didn't get to fit into the neat mullerian abnormality - bicornuate, etc that was listed. I was "other." My doctor said that they didn't list unicornuate since they only have a couple every now and then since only 1 in 6000 women have a unicornuate.
Then came two weeks ago. I was leaving their office and I noticed a new box was checked on my chart. I actually got excited because I thought it would say "pregnant." I'm so stupid...instead the new label I acquired was "threatened spontaneous abortion." Yikes. I guess that's what early bleeding in pregnancy gets you. When you continue to have bleeding in early pregnancy for more than one week, I guess you get another new label "severely threatened spontaneous abortion." That is exactly what was checked on my chart at my last visit.Hmmmm . Somehow I like the labels of my past a little better. Jock, nerd, or the tall girl doesn't
quite seem as scary as severely threatened spontaneous abortion.
So for now, I just continue to wait (and plead and hope?) I have an
appointment with my OB doctor on Wednesday to set up a monitoring schedule with him and the maternal fetal medicine doctor, especially cervix checks due to my uterus. I'll have to make my little list of questions so I don't miss anything. My weekend was pretty good. Friday we had dinner with friends and saw their kids and played some games. It was really relaxing which was exactly what I needed. Saturday was low key, and yesterday Irecerted my ACL.S for work - major boring but something you have to do every two years. Today my excitement will be laundary and catching up on Des.perate Housewives and Bro.thers and Sis.ters since I fell asleep at 8pm last night! If you get a chance and have any experience with gestational diabetes Farah is looking for some input and support.
21 comments:
Gosh, that sure would be a scary box to see checked... However, I think they should also have a box called "cautiously expecting miracle baby." Because that's really the box that should checked for you.
*hugs*
now that pisses me off badly. I think sometimes the people in the medical profession who make the forms with the labels need to be more human & less stupidly clinical. I'm really upset. seeesh!!
Love your ultrasound pic from the last post. I don't think it was there the last time I checked?
That is a VERY scary box...believe me, I know. I still get it every time I go in. I know that part of the reason they need to check that box is for billing purposes. I doubt my insurance would approve weekly ultrasounds and OB consults for a "regular" pregnancy.
Hang in there, and try to think positive. I know it's hard some days. I'm just a mouse click away if you need an ear...
What awful check boxes! Last year, at my miscarriage appointment, I got "Not OB" written in big letters across the top of my chart. That was cheerful.
Yikes, that is a crappy box to be checked! However I had a similar experience with my first OB appt. They handed me all this paper work to fill out (even though I had been there back in the fall and years prior) and the front desk had already filled out a lot of it, one part which included a handwritten note "Missed AB-Oct 2007". Ouch! Why in the world must the medical profession (which I'm a part of, so this may be a bit silly on my part) use the word "abortion" for miscarriage. Missed miscarriage, although not pleasant, is a bit less painful to see.
Oh, and I like Mel's "Cautiously expecting miracle baby". I want to sign up for THAT box!
Ah yes labels- It's all too familiar- I am also a "habitual spontaneous aborter", .. as I have traveled from PCOS - and explained fertility because of PCOS and not ovulating and blood immune issues- pregnancy brings it's whole new set of labels. It''s a werd thing it does to your brain. Thank you for your shout out. I was (and still am alil) blaming myself for more reasons to be mad at my body. It was a glorified pity party. I think the weekend has helped me put on my big girl panties and just deal with it
Bless your heart...that label can do nothing but scare you! You have lots of people praying for you during this pregnancy...me being one of them. *HUGS*
That post really stirred things up in me. I had to write a post of my own LOL
http://barefootsuzie.blogspot.com/2008/04/labels.html
I agree with Mel too. Cautiously expecting miracle baby sounds like a winner.
Jeez, nice job with the labeling there! You would think that even if they labeled you that way internally they'd make it sound a little nicer on the form, knowing that you'd be reading it and all. Sigh. Don't let it get you down or stressed. I'll be thinking of and praying for you and hope you have a good visit on Wednesday. As to your inquiry, I'm doing well - going for sonogram tomorrow where we should be getting a heartbeat (fingers crossed!) - I'll post sometime tomorrow with an update. Thanks for checking in!
Ugg to the labels. And yes, those last couple really suck. I hope it's all wrong. Mine has always been the same although worded a bit differently by the medical profession as opposed to my classmates in school.
I've often looked at those labels at the bottom of my lab slips and shuddered. "Amenorrhea and polycystic ovaries" grace my charts quite a bit.
Yikes... Such a scary moment in your life I can imagine. :( BTW- ACLS.... how boring.
Hi Sara--
Take it easy and try your best to enjoy your pregnancy, even though that stupid box was checked- they are just being overly cautious and want to make sure they don't forget to "watch" you more closely!
Thanks for your words of encouragement on my blog. It hasn't been an easy 2 weeks, but I'm just looking ahead to July now! In the mean time, I'm looking forward to me and dh's vacation in June and I'll try to relax and think positive! I'll be checking back with you soon!
OMG, I am sorry you saw that on your chart! I've had "SAB" on my chart and I think I would have had a 'Nam-style flashback.
Here's hoping you come out on the good side of the stats this time. I'm pulling for you!
Why do they have to put the actual words down??? Why can't they just use the codes? The billing office doesn't need the words. Grrrr...
Yeah, those nasty diagnosis are a serious pain in the ass.
My goal is to eventually see "V22.2 Pregnant state, incidental" on some paperwork!
Well, just like all those other labels, it doesn't define who you are. When this baby comes, it will not matter that you were once considered a "severe threatened spontaneous aborter"...or whatever other big words they want to throw at you!
That label really is something that should be somewhere else, where you can't see it. I mean you have enough worries without having to see something like that in writing. But, with each passing day Spot is growing stronger! Praying for you!!!
No more looking at the labels they give you on the charts! It only gives you more to worry over. You and little spot will be just fine and you will prove them all wrong!
Damn labels! I hate those things! Of course they always check "Polycystic Ovaries" and "Annovulation" on mine. Grrr..
My box is currently checked "ovulatory dysfunction" ... good stuff! (kiddin') Damn labels.
I'm so hopeful for you because as it stands today, you ARE pregnant and expecting your little miracle. One day at a time. :)
I hated seeing what box they checked with all my betas for my ectopic, when they didn't know what was going on.
I wish it was one they could check called, "We don't know WTF is going on but we'll charge you a million dollars anyway." Because sometimes that is what it feels like!
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