From OHS.S to spotting?

( picture by Emily Reed)

Alright, I'm kind of starting to think someone is playing a joke on me. My appointment on Monday went well. My OHS.S is definitely clearing up, thank heavens! I thought it was since I dropped three pounds in a day. I had an ultrasound and we were just shy of 6 weeks, so we saw a gest sac and a yolk sac. We weren't able to see a heartbeat yet, but my doctor reassured me that this was completely normal since it was so early still. I would have felt better if we saw one, but I go back next week so hopefully we'll see one then :-) My RE gave me the A-okay to resume some normal "light" activities so I was even planning on going in to work for a few hours Tuesday. Life was starting to get back to normal.

Then on Tuesday morning I woke up and saw some spotting. My heart stopped. We were officially 6 weeks then and although it is still so so early, I didn't want my worst fears confirmed. I know spotting in the first trimester can happen often, yet for someone who has just ran the IVF marathon, and then did OHS.S for an hon cour, I honestly just didn't have much more ompff and fight in me left. My thoughts immediately went back to the day of my transfer. That day I got home and started having some spotting, and within an hour it was full out bleeding that lasted for a few days. Dear heavens, is that what would happen now? I know many women lose their children in the first trimester, it happens all the time - it's just another sad fact of life. But please not me not now, not after all we'd been through. I was pleading franctically in my head, but I didn't even realize what I was pleading for. Perhaps I think I was pleading more for some peace of mind even more than pleading for the spotting not to turn into a full blown miscarriage.

I guess it worked, whatever it was because as soon as the spotting had started it stopped. I still called off work for the day to ward off evil repeat performances which would have claimed much more of my sanity than just charging another admission fee to view another episode of the hellish performance once again. I also called my doctor's when they opened, and they reassured me this was okay as long as it didn't increase and that they would check back later. So I guess the bumpy ride continues, maybe we'll have some smooth sailing next week?

Despite all this, I'm truly trying to start enjoying this pregnancy. With the help of some great family and friends I think at some point in time that will really be possible. Just wanted to say thanks too for all of you who have checked in an offered some support with a nice comment or two, it really makes all of this a lot easier! So thanks again!