Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support over the last few days. It has helped more than you know, and your kindness is amazing! I'm feeling a tiny bit better about things. I think it's a kind of feeling better that only comes with the passage of time. Each day that passes is another day that we get to spend with Spot still with us, and how can I not feel better about that. I'm glad it's almost the weekend and my husband will be home with me, evenings when he is home from work is always the best part of the day. Night time after I go to bed is always the hardest because my mind just tends to race and worry. Although last night was better than the night after surgery, I think things will continue to get easier, they just have to - it only makes sense. I find it helps too if I turn on our stereo system on a quite setting and just listen to random music on my favorite station throughout the night. It must help drown out the worrying thoughts in my own head and I tend to sleep a heck of a lot better. And then there's my dog, she hasn't left my side in three days and I think she actually feels like she is a part of my butt permanently because that's where she sleeps non stop - mashed up against the side of my upper hip!
I definitely need to lighten the mood of this post because it sounds way too melancholy to me. And I definitely don't want to be Sara the Downer. So I thought I'd share some funny things I've come across in the last three days, and ask you all a question as well.
My husband and I have slowly been telling our friends and family about what's going on, just so they know why we will be absent from things for a little while (since I can't leave the house until further notice). Between family and people from work, we've come across quite a funny array of comments and advice. I'm happy to say, none have come from our friends. We must have some pretty kick butt friends! Also, none were uttered by my husband - he knows better. Here are a few funny (and not so funny) comments people have told us when we revealed that I needed surgery due to a shortening cervix and that things were going to be touch and go from here on out:
"So this means that Sara isn't working right now? She is so lucky, I wish I had the summer off."
"I'm kind of jealous, I wish I could stay in bed all day too." (Hehe, I actually did burst out laughing when I heard this one!)
"At least you won't have to pay these crazy gas prices since you won't be driving around." (I admit, this one is at least partially true - although I would gladly pay to fill up now and then if it meant I wasn't on house arrest).
"You always work long hours, it is definitely God's way of telling you that you needed to take it easy. You should listen." (As if I have a choice?)
"Enjoy all this nice rest now, you won't be getting any once the baby comes." (Rest is nice when you don't have any worries, not so nice when you're terrified of turning wrong and miscarrying in your second trimester)
"Enjoy not having to do anything right now because having a baby around all the time is not easy." (Wait a minute, are you saying babies are a lot of work? Why didn't anyone tell me this before I got pregnant?)
So here is where I need you help. Your job everyone is to make me laugh and either tell me the funniest most absurd thing you could tell someone in my situation, or have heard someone tell a person. Better yet, you could tell me what someone has told you if you were on bedrest for an extended time, or while you had a major complication in your pregnancy. I know (unfortunate as it is) that a lot of you have had some bumps in the road and have encountered some silly comments along the way. Please share, if I must remain horizontal, at least I can laugh while doing it! I figure I can keep a list and at least it'll keep me smiling :-) (I know none of you guys would ever say this crazy stuff, so feel free to get really creative)
I got tagged by Meredith with a really fun one (thanks Mere). But it's one I want to think about and come up with a good answer, so I'll leave that to next time when I have a thoughtful - or at least witty answer. It's steamy hot for once here in MI and I actually felt kind of bad for all the people who turned out downtown for the parade to celebrate the Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup. But from what I watched on TV, it actually looked like everyone was having a great time. I just wanted to say thanks again for all of your kind words and emails, you guys sure know how to make a girl feel better. Now just help me keep laughing, okay?
24 comments:
Here are some of the ones I can imagine. Some are funny, some are horrible. Just keep in mind that *I* would never say, nor think, any of these, nor would any of your readers, I imagine. So, how about...
"Short cervix, huh? How cute!"
"Well, if you're going to be lying around all day not getting any exercise, you should probably go on a diet."
"Well, look on the bright side. Even if you lose the baby, *you* will probably still be okay." (Funny, no. Absurd, definitely.)
"Maybe you're being punished for something you did."
Okay, I've taken up enough. I'll give someone else a shot. This was fun!!
I'm thinking of you so much, Sara.
I can't help you with bed rest jokes, but I have a few infertility humdingers:
http://lupuspie.blogspot.com/2008/05/ten-things-never-to-say-to-someone.html
I was on bedrest with Addyson and am currently on modified bedrest again. I have one comment that I got from a "friend" recently when my doctor was able to send my husband home from Iraq to take care of Addyson and I: "Your husband's unit must be pretty nice, since they allowed him to come home early from his deployment." (Yes, I'm beyond thrilled he is home from Iraq, but hello it's not like he was sent home so we could go on a bunch of family vacations.)
Another comment:
"If I were to stalk you for two weeks straight, I would be wondering if you were paralyzed."
I can help keep you entertained while you rest and take care of you and your baby, as I'm doing the same.
ugh the sleep/rest comments. Those seems to be the popular ones.
Here's a funny AND very true statement. When I was getting my NST this morning I TOTALLY thought I saw a picture of you in scrubs in my dr's office. I never realized until today that one of my dr's looks like you .. unmistakably! It's what i imagine you to look like all geared up in scrubs, caps boots at work.. You hot Momma!
"Enjoy all this nice rest now, you won't be getting any once the baby comes."
I don't think I've heard any besides each of the ones you listed, but if one more person says the above to me, I might just punch them in the face.
I don't have a bedrest funny but I do have a funny cervix story :)
Years ago when it became clear this getting-pregnant-business was not going to be easy for us, my father-in-law (who knew we had been trying for quite some time) gave me some of his expert medical advice (he is a finance guy, mind you). "You know, there could be something wrong with your cervix! You should have that checked out!" I smiled and nodded and chuckled to myself because, of course, by that point a crew of OB/GYNs, several nurses, and even a couple REs had "checked out" my cervix. :-) I found it funny because who discusses their cervix with their father-in-law!?!
You have a great attitude! It can't be easy to adjust to this house-arrest lifestyle. You are doing an awesome job!
When I was home for two weeks only moving from the couch to violently vomit, I heard some comments about rest. I definitely heard that I should enjoy the rest now because I wouldn't get any after the kids come. Ummm...vomitting a dozen times a day is just sooooo restful.
I've also heard that I should take advantage of my husband having to wait on me hand and foot. Oh yeah, that's fun too.
They just don't get it.
www.gamershood.com That's a fun website for games! Tons and tons of them!
People are so ridiculous. I wish I could think of something funny to add. People have said some inappropriate things to me during both pregnancies, but I didn't find any of it funny.
Wow, I just had a chance to catch up on all your posts. I can definitely hear the weight on your heart!
Unfortunately, I am neither clever nor funny! But I will be checking in!
I never had bedrest (fortuantely) but I will tell you that the wierd comments and advice will keep on coming..... it is amazing to me the number of complete strangers that feel the need to make a comment. When I was pregnant I got it quite a bit but now when I am out with both babies -- OH my god. It doesn't end !!! The standard lines for twins are
double trouble
you've got your hands full
better you than me
oh a boy and a girl! ( when clearly everything about us is pink )
my favorite :
ah you have twins !!! (like i hadn't noticed)
I know you wanted bedrest oneliners but I just wanted to let you know this is just the beginning sister -- get yourself prepared for advice galore..... sam
Oh, I heard all those and more! "You know most women would kill to have to do nothing." Um, would most women kill to have the constant fear of losing your baby? We're on bed rest for a reason, people!!
You and your dog will likely get very close. The attachment I had to my cat was unhealthy to begin with, now it's borderline obsessive.
I don't have any funny bedrest jokes, but I wanted to post and let you know I'm thinking of you.
Here's a really bad non-bedrest joke:
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."
I don't have any stories for you but hang in there. Some of those would make me want to scream loudly at the person making the comment. Some people just don't get it.
I have been a RN X 25+ years and hands down the most common moronic thing said to mommies on bed rest was, "Lucky You". Sending you all the best during "couch arrest". Laying around SUCKS, distraction whether it's work or chores,is a wonderful break from worry. I'm glad music is helping you sleep, have you tried any meditation or white noise CDs? All right, enough of that, onto the Jokes.
A dwarf walks into a lumber jack business and asks for a job. The head lumberjack says "No way, you're too short". The dwarf pleads and pleads for a chance and the head lumberjack agrees to give him an one hour trial. After an hour, the lumberjack comes back and says, "Oh my gosh!! Where did you learn to cut down trees like that?" The dwarf replied "The Sahara Forest". "Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?" said the lumberjack.
"Oh is that what they call it now?"
(I know, pretty lame, what can I say, I got this from a 10 y/o)
Best to you and I will look for better material.
I don't have any witty or funny questions for you, but wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. (Hugs)
If you need some comebacks, my head tends to sail off the charts with sarcasm. (:
No funny comment:( After I had 2 losses and found out about my septum my dad gave me the "it will happen when you least expect it" bit. I know he was trying to be nice, but I think I really let him have it... Um, yeah, it won't ever be when I least expect it.
Hope you are doing well this weekend and soaking up the company of DH before he goes back to work. I can only imagine that you are emotionally and physically pooped by your time on the couch. I am thinking about you and saying some words each night to try to keep that cervix strong...
m
I didn't start taking belly shots until really late in my pregnancy -- the first post on my blog I think somewhere in the 30s (weeks). I regret not taking more but I had done quite a bit of "emotional eating" throughout the IVF and was not too proud of my belly until it got real big. I should not have cared then BUT I was silly. You are nice and small so it would be fun for you to watch yourself grow. I weighed around 150 by the time I got pregnant (135 before everything).... chunky monkey!!!
I love the "assvice" idea -- I also love the t-shirt idea -- forget this medical business -- t-shirt may be where it's at!!!! sam
**** funny *** instead of replying to your comment here. I first posted it on my own page -- hellllooo sleep deprivation ****
Thinking of you.
No bedrest/short cervix jokes or comments from me. But a couple of weeks ago by husband was sitting on the couch reading and I said to him "Look at all those autumn leaves lying around out there. Why don't you do something about it?" So he got up and closed the curtains.
Wishing you well. Let us know if you need any more jokes. I'm sure we can rise to the occaision.
this may not be funny, unless being an ass is funny to you. I told my podiatrist that I was pregnant and couldn't reach my toes to cut them correctly. He knew i had done IVF and he asked me about how much that costs. I told him the high and low numbers and he looks up at me and says "That doesn't sound like a very good investment considering how much it costs to raise kids these days" What the bleep? I said, "Well, lets just say I spent their college tuition early"
Jackass probably had kids!
well there's that common one "just relax and it will happen". That's always funny
I don't have any funny/stupid advice for the bedrest, but it never ceases to amaze me what people will say in those kinds of situations!
BTW, I tagged you for a meme, if you're up to it!:)
Unfortunately, I don't have any funnies other than the ones you mentioned, but just wanted to drop in, say hello and let you know that I'm thinking of you!
Oooh, I am like a dog unleashed!
When I was having severe first trimester morning sickness (leading to dehydration, vomiting blood, and fainting), I had to take a week off of work. Some of the things that I heard then:
From my boss: "Well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"
From my coworker: "You're so lucky, I gained a TON of weight in my pregnancy. You might get off easy."
From a few different people: "I don't know why you get time off from work. I was queasy in my pregnancy and didn't have to take time off."
When I had my spotting episode a couple of weeks ago:
I also got the "It's God's sign to slow down, you should listen" business from a few people.
One "friend" asked if I was "Killing another baby."
My mother-in-law asked if I could still have them for dinner and to spend the weekend because, after all, I wasn't "really" sick - and my MIL, by the way, would not have lifted a finger to help prepare or clean up dinner.
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