First day back at work

Brynn and Neela are still best buds when it comes to tummy time or sleeping or just hanging out. I just hope it continues!


Yesterday was my first day back at work and I'm glad to have it under my belt. Sunday I spent the whole day cooking dinners for the week and packing a lunch and food for my breaks as if I was going to be gone for days on end. I guess I was a little over preparing. Then around 9PM I set the DVR to tape the 2 hour special of Brothers and Sisters and headed off to bed to try to catch some sleep. Around 11PM that night my friend's little sister came over to watch her so that we would have a restful night and not have to deal with her feeding schedule every few hours. She is an absolute life saver...night time nanny to the rescue! Plus Neela just adores her. I think I woke up every few hours from 1 o'clock on, but around 4:50 AM my alarm went off and I sprung out of bed. I got ready for the day and pumped just as I was headed out the door. My friend and Brynn were still fast asleep, but I was a little teary eyed leaving my girl behind. I know it'll just get easier. She's just been my partner in crime for almost 10 months since I've been off work, it was hard to leave her behind.

Once at work around 6:00 or so I found out what room I was in for the day and set my room up for my first case that started around 7. I was kind of in a hodge podge easy room in the outpatient room the first day - although no day is ever predictable in the OR. First case up was a crazy one...we did a tubal ligation on a 21 year old. Yes I just said a 21 year old. And I put my foot in mouth as I approached her all wide eyed and cheery saying, "So how many little ones do you have at home?" as I walked up to her stretcher in preop. She quickly replied, "None." Huh I thought...we're doing a tubal ligation on a 21 year old who has no children....certainly there must be some mistake I thought. But no...it was correct. I guess in order for it to be done she had to undergo psychological testing and a gamment of other tests. But still to say it disturbed me would be an understatement...it still leaves me uneasy. I think of myself at 21 and I'm no where near what I was even 8 years ago....so much has changed. But who am I to judge I suppose.

Even things such as charting and doing basic things took a bit longer than normal...kind of like brushing off the cobwebs I'm sure. Actually my Dansko shoes were a bit dusty when I put them back on so that part was actually true, LOL! Once again...time is of the essence I'm sure. I was able to go to our CRNA "call room" to pump 3 times yesterday on my 12 hour shift. Not too bad, although I'm sure sometimes it may dwindle down to twice a day on my longer days. It's just hard to actually get to the call room, set up everything and be back in 15 minutes, you know? But there is a recliner, a TV, and an outlet near a phone that is a pretty good setup...so other than the lack of time there is no complaints from me. I was able to call my mom a couple of times to see how Brynn was doing throughout the day. She took over at about 11AM from my friend so it's kind of like a joint operation....Brynn style!

The rest of the day I spent in cases where we took out a 33 year old's appendix, we put in an infusaport for a lady with cancer of the throat, and we repaired the elbow fracture of a 21 year old who was in a drunk driving accident. All in all things went okay. There were a few bumps in the road...and I felt a little rusty. But at the end of the day I didn't cause any harm and we all walked away okay, LOL! Just kidding of course. But no on a serious note I was paired up with another CRNA just to have as back up support since I had been off so long...and I needed minimal assistance so that made me feel good.

Going home that night I felt tired, sore, and my legs ached....it'll take me awhile to get back in the swing of things. But I was refreshed all at the same time. I could still do my job after being off for almost a year. Part of the whole pregnancy bedrest has left me feeling like there was nothing to me as a person other than the pregnant chick with a history of fertility issues who had a bumpy pregnancy and recovery. It was good to get back to part of my former "other" self. It was a day that involved some learning curve for everyone I'm sure...from my mom and dad who watched her while I was at work, to my husband who had to take care of her by himself when getting off of his engineering job, to me getting home at 8PM that night from being gone at 5:30AM. I'm glad I only have one long day a week...I missed my little girl too much. Basically I know I'm blessed to have the best of both worlds...working 2 days a week while my mom or friend watches her, working 20 hours a week doing something I love, and being home 5 days with my little bambino. I almost feel guily saying that...but I am one lucky girl. I have been so blessed. Almost as if I don't deserve it.

I don't want to forget to say thank you to someone else who has been such a support to us along the way. Meredith at a Uterus Divided has been like a twin to me. Her and I both have the goofy uterine abnormality, infertility and then pregnancy bedrest. While pregnant with Brynn her and I would text back and forth and email daily, sometimes at 4AM. She was my sounding board...a girl who kept me sane along the way and honestly knew me better than most people who had known me for years. She truly "got me" and got what we were going through because we were going through it together. I know mommyhood and our jobs will keep us busy, but she is one girl whom I truly believe I could not had gotten through the last few months without. She is so caring, unselfish, and the true meaning of the word "giving." Giving to me, others who need it, and giving of herself totally to her son. She is a hard act to follow. She is truly one of the good ones.