Waiting patiently - okay not so patiently

I've never been a patient person - my husband laughs and says that's where Brynn gets her patience from. And he's joking of course. I haven't had any symptoms so far one way or another. My boobs really aren't even sore from all of the progesterone I'm taking. But that's okay. Like always with this infertility dance we all do....none of this is in my hands at this point in time anyways. I may not be patient, but I have learned that I lack control in all of this. Today is roughly 10 days post ovulation, or 6 days post transfer. I caved and peed on a stick and it was negative. At least I know the ovidrel is out of my system...and I know it's not showing that I'm pregnant yet either.

So for now we wait, I have to be patient and I'm reminded that none of this is in my control. Please oh please BIG GUY....help turn this little lack of two pink lines into a little positive. I'd really appreciate it and I promise to be more patient.

Transfer all done!

This morning I began waking up around 4AM checking the clock like a manic person wondering if enough time had passed to have our RE's office call to tell us the fate of our 3 embryos being thawed overnight. Around 8AM I couldn't stand it anymore and phoned the office. My favorite nurse got on the line and told us that they were just finishing up with them but that 2 of the 3 had survived the thaw! Music to my ears. I had been saying little prayers all last night that we'd have 2 to transfer.

Our babysitter showed up around 9 to watch Brynn for us who was still sleeping soundly in bed, and we left shortly afterwards to make the drive down to the hospital. I popped by Valium along the way you take for uterine relaxation and chugged some water. This transfer was being done under ultrasound guidance since our RE had a little trouble with the curvature of my cervix and uterus on our first IVF. Once inside the transfer room we were given photos of our two little embryos prior to transfer. If I can get our scanner working I'll throw up a photo of the two little tots later. One had started out at 4 cells and had ended up at 3 prior to transfer and one eight celled embryo was now 6 cells. I'm glad any made the cut at all. Certain cells on the embryo can be harmed during the freezing of them initially, and then the unthawing a few years later. We also did the assisted hatching that was recommended by our RE.

Other than having to lay on the table with a full bladder and then for an additional 30 minutes post transfer - it was a breeze. During the transfer he asked us all about Brynn and I rambled on about what was new with her. Everything went off without a hitch and our 65 year old RE gave both my husband and I a fist pump on his way out the door and wished us luck.

Later my husband dropped me off at home, the babysitter went home and my parents came to watch Brynn for the afternoon. Other than finishing off my steroids, doxycycline antibiotic and maintaining on my estrace and progesterone along with aspirin for the next 12 days...it's a waiting game now. I napped a bit this afternoon (I think the valium gave me a hangover, LOL!) and now I'm sitting on our back porch while my husband took Brynn to the park. It's a beautiful night- crystal clear and 70 degrees. Basically the perfect evening to a perfect day. I hope that there are many more like this ahead!

Thank you so much for all the good luck and prayers. It means so much and I'm a firm believer that some good thinking and prayers go a long way!

Tomorrow is transfer day - I hope

Well can't believe tomorrow morning is our frozen embryo transfer. I'm anxiously awaiting the call from our RE's office in the early morning hours to let us know how many- if any of our embryos survived the overnight thaw. I'm hoping that our three little embryos are currently sporting their summer sunglasses and bikinis and ready for the great thaw! Fingers crossed and lots of prayers...I'll take any we can get :-)

Turning lemons into ....lemon bars

In keeping with my previous post, I've been trying to keep busy to avoid thinking about our embryo transfer coming up. Sunday I was at one of our local farmer's markets and saw these beautiful lemons. I love summer time and just strolling through the aisles of produce that line the weekend farmer markets. Just north of Detroit there are quite a few and we're blessed to have a nice one in our suburb's downtown area. I gathered a armful of these and headed home to see what I could do with them.



Thanks to a good recipe from Barefoot Contessa I turned them into this:



Sorry I don't have a better photo of the finished product, my husband and parents made quick work of them and before I could take a photo, LOL! It was the first time I had made a shortbread crust and I think it turned out pretty well. The bars held up great, and were pretty dense. In fact I think next time I'll add a little less flour to the filling and one more lemon. Although I like my bars pretty lemony.

Saturday night my parents came over to our house to watch Brynn so that we could go to a friend's wedding. The rain held off for the outdoor ceremony and it was beautiful. And my favorite part of weddings..the wedding cake was yummy too! Some people love the music, or flowers. I'm totally always about the cake. It's my favorite part of going to weddings :-) I had picked up a new dress on sale at one of my favorite stores, Ann Taylor Loft and we enjoyed the night away.



My friend and her husband and little 3 year old girl are currently on their way over to our house to visit and have dinner. They're in visiting from Arizona and it's been awhile since we've seen them. There's something amazingly comforting about visiting with old friends. I used to not know what people meant when they said a friend can feel like home - but vising with old friends who you've not seen for awhile does feel like....well....coming home. It's one of the things I'm most grateful for. Old friends I still have contact with. I feel that they're a blessing.

Seven days until transfer. By this time next week hopefully two embryos will have been transferred and hopefully one will be making a nice home in my uterus for the next eight or nine months. Little embryo...we've been waiting for you and I promise we'll give you a nice home to settle in....we just want you to hang around for awhile!

Trying to stay calm 10 days til transfer

One of Brynn's favorite things lately is picking up leaves and saying "weeves." I think she'll get a kick out of the colored ones that fall as autumn starts. Right now there's already some on the ground although they're more of a icky brown color, nothing like the velvety red and auburn ones I love about the third season in the year here in Michigan.
Earlier in the week I thought...wow I'm doing pretty well. I am barely thinking about the fact that we have a FET in 2 weeks. As the days go by I find myself thinking about it more and more. While making dinner...while taking a shower,and this morning...even while...well going number 2! ( I really must invest in some better bathroom reading material :-)

I've resigned myself that the only way I'm going to stay sane over the next 10 days is to cram as much into each day so I can't possibly have extra time to worry. Why the heck I'm worrying is beyond me..but for some reason I'm worried about our embryos surviving the thaw. I'm worried that we're doing all this and we won't even have anything left at the end to transfer. So I think I need to just stop and take a deep breath. This is happening in 10 days...and it has to work. It just has to. Right?

P.S. The Fed Ex Man did bring me a package on Wednesday complete with my two ovidrel injections. And much to my husband's delight....that was the only package he brought to our house...hehe!

Fun times up north and cycle day 11

This past week my husband had to go to Austin to present at a conference for work, so Brynn and I headed up to my parent's cottage in up north Michigan. I think she enjoyed getting ready for the beach more than she actually liked the sand and water.

Brynn loves looking at herself in the mirror and gathering all of the toiletries out of the bathroom.



She didn't really like walking in the water, although Brynn would sit and let her toes get a tad wet. She loved her sand bucket, which was never far out of reach.



Although the sky looked threatening at times, we never got a drop of rain the entire 3 days up at the cottage and Lake Huron was as calm as ever with barely a wave in sight. You could walk out really far and still be waist deep while seeing the bottom of the lake. Here's Brynn and my dad sitting down to cool off.



Brynn was a pretty good traveler in the car and the trip back home was a little smoother than the one up there. Once home she wasted no time to remember where her favorite snacks were. I swear the girl would live on golden Goldfish if I let her, LOL!



At the end of her snack Brynn is like, "Come on Mom...just a few more!"



Thank you for all of the good wishes for my lab work to be alright last week. It must of worked because early last week the nurse from my RE's office called to say my progesterone was less than one and my estrogen was within the normal range to start my meds for our FET. YAY!

So last week I began taking two Estrace a day and applied my Vivelle patch. I continue to take the Estrace daily and change my patch every three days. I also of course are taking some folic acid, and my RE's office has begun putting many of their patients on a daily dose of Vitamin D. Next Wednesday on the 18th I have another ultrasound to check my lining and some lab work to check my progesterone and a few other things. If all looks okay I'll start my progesterone shots, medrol steroid (since we used ICSI during our IVF cycle), aspirin, and Doxycycline antibiotic. That Wednesday night I'll also take two Ovidrel injections.

Then drumroll please.....our transfer should still be Monday the 23rd at 10AM. Despite all of my excitement for this transfer, I have to admit a FET is just so much simpler it seems than a fresh IVF cycle. There is so few ultrasounds, fewer lab draws, fewer needles, fewer meds...well.....just fewer of everything. It seemed like with our fresh IVF cycle I was forever waiting by my cell phone, checking it in between OR cases for a call from the clinic with lab results, or what my next dose of each injectable med was. There is none of that this time. Things just seem...well....calmer.

I am however, waiting anxiously for the doorbell to ring at the moment and for the FedEx man to bring me a package. My two ovidrel injections are scheduled to be delivered today and I have to sign for them since they are refrigerated. Did I ever mention how much I love getting packages and snail mail? I especially love packages from FedEx and delivery services. I had to giggle because I told my husband last night that the FedEx man was bringing me a package today and my husband just smiled and said he was excited for the delivery as long as the "FedEx man wasn't bringing you HIS package." Ah, I love how my husband thinks...mind always in the gutter, LOL!

Well, hope everyone is having a great week and thanks again for all of the good thoughts!

New York City and cycling day 2

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes! New York City was a blast. We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary there, ate at some great restaurants, and saw this show which was both funny and entertaining enough to keep my husband awake for a broadway show :-)



I was proud of myself for only calling home 4 times to check on Brynn and our doggie Neela. My parents kept both of them so busy I doubt our daughter even realized we were gone. In fact when we arrived home Brynn acted a bit stand offish for the first hour or so and acted like she was ignoring us only going over to my mom and dad to be held. But three rounds of E-I-E-I-O and This Little Piggy Went to Market later and I was back in her good graces. It was a fun trip, but it was good to be home.

This past weekend I worked both days and both the OR and Labor and Delivery was a zoo. On Saturday we were so busy that no one got a lunch break until like 2:30, and I was about ready to start popping open the IV bags of D5W and (dextrose and water) and start chugging away, LOL! Sunday was a little better but it was kind of one of those crazy summer weekends where everyone comes in for bizarre reasons. And I don't even think it was a full moon?

I was delighted when my sonohyst went well and that my uterus looked squeaky clean. Last month my RE had me on premarin and then provera to have a cycle prior to our FET cycle. Technically you should not ovulate while taking this combo, and technically I've never been known to ovulate anyways during any of our cycles trying to get pregnant with Brynn. So last week when I had stopped taking my provera and was having some bleeding I assumed it was the start of my period. I phoned the office and went in for cycle day 3 lab work an early morning date with the dildo cam (aka a transvag ultrasound.) My lining looked thin, no cysts were present (horray!) and the nurse said she would call that afternoon with my lab results so that I could start my Estrace that evening along with my estrogen patch. Later that day the phone range and my favorite nurse said NOT to start my estrogen because the bleeding I was having was not the start of my cycle. Rather my progesterone was still a tad high because low and behold I had obviously ovulated this past cycle while on Premarin. Go figure. When I take meds to ovulate trying to get pregnant with IUI cycles in the past, I don't ovulate. Then I take meds to not ovulate prior to our FET cycle and I do ovulate - causing our FET cycle to get postponed. UGH!

I should have known nothing goes quite as scheduled in the world of fertility treatments, but I was just chomping at the bit to get started. Yesterday I did however start having what seems like a period again (although I've been spotting for 2 weeks now) and tomorrow morning I'll have lab work drawn again. I'm anticipating things looking good, my progesterone and estrogen being where they should be, and me being able to start my estrace and patch, along with my aspirin. Now I'm really getting excited!

My husband is gone all this week to Austin to present at a nerd conference. It's what we call electrical engineering conferences :-) Since I worked the weekend I have a few days off - so I'm going to pack Neela and Brynn up after I get back from having my lab work drawn in the morning to spend a few days at my parent's cottage up north. Their place in on the water so it'll be fun seeing Brynn's first trip to the beach. It's one of the things I love about Michigan, is all of the sandy shore with having the Great Lakes nearby.

Well hopefully we'll get to enjoy a few days of sun and sand while the hubby is away, and hopefully I'll be able to post that my labs looked good and that we're off and running with our FET. That would give us a transfer day of Monday August 23 for our embryos! That's not that far away!