Thank you for you kind words and checking in while I had my little spotting bit yesterday - they mean more than you know! Things have quieted down a bit - and I'm just back resting at home. Just the place I wanted to be! I go back to the office tomorrow for another appointment in the late morning. Until then I will obediently park my butt on the couch and watch my John Adam's disc two that just came from Netflix at last. Truly the spotting I can live with from time to time as long as I know things are okay by ultrasound. It's just the combination of contractions from time to time, coupled with spotting, and knowing I have the incompetent cervix and cerclage that sends me into worry land a bit. When just two of the above three are occurring the worry is tolerable. But when I am having all three - that's when even I get a bit concerned. Which is what happened yesterday.
Unfortunately there's not a darn thing that they can do about a shortening cervix other than what I already am doing, or have done. Also they closely monitor contractions and treat them with medication if they are causing aggressive changes in the cervix to buy you more time before delivery. So if I am having a set amount of contractions at any given time - I need to get to the hospital quickly for more aggressive treatment. Checking my cervix length every few days at the office is keeping me out of the hospital for now as well - since it allows them to be on top of any changes. Also, I think my OB trusts me when I say that at any sign something is wrong (preterm labor wise) I will know what to do and to contact him and get in asap. Therefore, I can avert a hospital stay for as long as possible and get as much time at home as possible. That is the goal for both of us. Once again - it comes down to time. Buying enough time to get us a more and more healthy baby in the end. (I guess that should be healthier and healthier for all the english majors out there? I'm not the best as you can tell :-) If it means eventually being duck taped to a hospital bed and using a bedpan, and not showering for days on end to keep Spot in there - I guess the phrase is "whatever it takes or one day at a time." Thank heavens I'm not at that point. I end every conversation or email with my OB with the phrase, "Whatever you think is best I will certainly always do." We have been so blessed so far - I realize that every day and am thankful.
My husband and I never take our eyes off the goal at the end - and that is what is keeping us going forward. I feel so selfish for even saying this....but somedays I just feel so tired. I've never done so much absolute nothingness in my days - and yet have never felt so exhausted in my life. That probably makes no sense at all. I feel so selfish for complaining like that. Yet I just feel so tired sometimes. But I know I need to quickly push that aside because I know we've been a heck of a lot more blessed than ever before.
38 comments:
I was so sleepy the two days I was on bedrest after my ET--I think it is a function of not doing much, bodywise. And, don't forget, you are making a human! Taht is pretty exhausting work.
I was on bedrest from 18-34 weeks and I got really tired, bored and worried if I'd have energy once the baby was born. Energy wasn't a problem as it turned out.
Will you start getting fetal fibronectin tests after 24 weeks? A negative FFN really helped my state of mind.
Don't feel selfish for being sleepy - you have a lot to concentrate on.
I just have to tell you - I really admire you attitude and outlook. You truly are an inspiration. As always, I continue to think lots of good thoughts for you :)
Thank you so much for posting your update. I was thinking of you.
I am so impressed with how positive you always manage to be. You're an inspiration, seriously. It's amazing.
Glad to hear things are OK and you're home resting. I agree you're doing everything you can to get to the end goal of a healthy baby. I bet your doctor loves that you are so in tune with what is going on with your body. You're doing a great job.
BTW, now that I seem to be in a family way, I am concerned if I will have any cervix issues. I haven't mentioned this to DH yet, but our DD was born 4 weeks premature. My aunt, who I mentioned finally was diagnosed in her early 40s with an incompetent cervix had a baby when she was 29 just like I did. She was 2 1/2 months premature. Hmmmmm. Granted DD wasn't that premature. Thankfully, I know because I'm over 35 I will be highly monitored as I'll be classified "advanced maternal age." Snort, LOL. I don't feel that old.
Wishing you many weeks of resting at home to ensure you a healthy baby.
honey your just tired from the lack of doing. it's perfectly normal and in a few more months you will get to be tired from the lack of sleep (lol). good times, eh?
so happy that all is well with you. i (as well as all your other readers, I'm sure) was worried - so good to know you and spot are both hanging on. keep on keepin on!
Bedrest is exhausting. It made me want to smack everyone who joked "Good thing you're getting all that extra rest before that baby comes!" right across the nose.
22 weeks- you're getting there!! And ditto on the FFNs.
Of COURSE you're exhausted, my dear. You have a lot on your mind. Stress manifests itself in strange, strange ways.
You're attitude, however, should be an inspiration to us all.
Sorry the bed rest is so hard on you. It does get very exhausting though, I don't know why. Maybe it's the start of hibernation, plus your making lungs!
I'm glad to hear you are doing better right now. As always y'all are in my prayers.
I was on bedrest for the weekend after a bizarre side effect from my hysterosonogram, and it was tiring. It seemed ridiculous, how could I possibly be tired after doing nothing, but it is tiring. So you're not crazy. :)
Missed your worrying from the weekend since I didn't check in all weekend, but I am glad that you are feeling better now!
Sara, you are SOOOOO NOT selfish. You are doing an amazing job, and you have one of the best attitudes I've ever seen. If you don't believe me, go back and read some of my whinier posts. ;)
I give thanks for every extra day under your belt. Now, let's get through these next 6 weeks together. After that, you may be on your own, girlfriend.
xo
Yeah! Great news. I'll agree -- whatever it takes!!
I'm so glad you and your doc are such a good team. Worrying and Stress are Exhausting, both mentally and physically. Sara, honey, you couldn't be a complainer on your worst day. LGS is such a lucky girl to have you both as her parents. Hanging in there with you with lots of (((HUGS)))
I think you've been real strong & graceful in your handling of this pg & bedrest. You've inspired me more than you can understand & I am praying for you constantly that yours will be our testimony of God's goodness & miracles. Hang in there girl, the finish line is in sight.
I'm glad to see an update from you. You're getting SO close! Did you start the steroid shots yet? (I thought you mentioned starting those at week 22)
That girl has got one cool ass mommy! She may never know how much you did to keep her safe, but she will be with you for her whole life because of it. You're doing a great job!
I couldn't be any happier to hear that you and spot-ette are doing OK. I wanted to reach out and give you a great big (gentle!) hug after catching-up on your last two posts. Your attitude is right on...keep your eye on the prize, right? :) You are an AMAZING woman, and you're going to be an even more AMAZING mommy! You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis.
Honey, I don't have much internet time these days, but I've popped on to check on you.
Bedrest and worry is hard. Real hard. You know I've been there, for different reasons,
Thinking of you lots,
xx
J
Phew...I've been worried about you and girl spot and anxiously awaiting an update.
I'm glad that you are at home again and that the doctor is still keeping a close eye on you and girl spot.
I completely understand you about being tired. I haven't been as strict about bedrest as you have had to be, but it is tiring. Being bored and lazy is not enjoyable after so long. But, as you said, whatever it takes.
I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and that your cervix stays strong.
So glad to hear that you and Spot are hanging in there. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. I think you are very justified in being tired.
I'm so happy that you and Spot are doing well. You are doing an incredible job following Dr.'s orders to keep Spot right where she belongs.
I went batty for the couple of days after my ETs, but you are so positive and upbeat day after day. Your attitude is inspiring. You have every right to complain so let out whatever you need to. My complaining is full of f-bombs so yours came across pretty mild. (:
Hang in there!!!
I was only on bedrest for 3 days after my transfer and was crying by the end of it. You rarely have a negative thing to say, so if you need to say you're tired, you say it all you want. I don't even consider that complaining. AND....can I just say, you rock girl! :) I'm so proud of you and how you're handling all of this.
*HUGS*
It is tiring doing little physically especially when you are forced to remain inactive. And I wouldn't be surprised if you are tired because your body is expending so much energy emotionally. As a fellow UUer, each weekly milestone you reach cheers me, and if I could somehow literally share any strength I have with you, I would.
looks like I've been away for some stuff too. I'm glad that things have stayed the same or gotten a little better instead of more scary. You complain all you want. Look at me I'm perfectly fine sans my mental issues and I complain all day when people would kill to have such an uneventful pregnancy. You have it rough. bed rest is not a picnic and you are doing very well. and you are right eye on the prize, a healthy spot. I wish I was more help than that but never feel bad expressing your feelings good or bad, you're human!!
Thinking of you.. and keeping you in my prayers always. I cannot even imagine how exhausting this has all been, but you are so right. Keeping your eye on the prize is the way to focus.
*hugs*
Being on bedrest is difficult regardless of the reason. I can't imagine what it would be like to be on bedrest that long and I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't have nearly as good of an attitude about it. I would do it for the health of my baby but there would be whining involved.
just wanted to drop in and let you know I'm thinking of you. I don't blame you one bit for complaining about bed rest, and I know you will do whatever it takes. I have a lot of respect for you - keep strong!
You're doing so well, hang in there! It's hard, and it's ok to complain. Bed rest is mentally and physically hard and combine that with all the scares, contractions...it's always something, isn't it?
Where you are now was the worst time for me. It gets better, I promise. Keep doing what you're doing.
Worry is tiring, first of all. And every time in my life that I've spent any significant time resting, it does make me feel more tired. It's a weird phenomena.
Glad you are doing ok, its perfectly fine to be tired. Hang in there and let little Spot stay as long as possible! Sounds like you have a great doctor.
I'm still on vacation, so I just caught up with the spotting scare! I'm SO glad everything is good!
I love, love, love the nursery so far. It's so calming already. That color is perfect!
I've been so absorbed with my own thoughts about my cycle that I haven't checked up on you for a few days. I am glad to see things are better, but I am sorry you had to go through a scare. You are so strong and are doing everything possible for this pregnancy. I will be glad when you get very close to the due date so your mind can be at ease.
A cycle of IVF and then a pesky cervix during pregnancy- you deserve a metal of honor!! Take it easy and I'll be praying for you. Thanks for stopping by my blog too. Yes, it's definitely a tough few days, the 2ww is NEVER fun.
Sara, you are an awesome mommy to be and Spot is lucky to have you (already) watching out for her.
I am so sorry I could not come visit today, but you already know that Buttercup got sick, so we'll try again when she is feeling better.
You are so strong, and even the strong get tired.
hugs.
i too am thankful for each passing week. thinking of you...
Sara you are absolutely amazing and doing a fabulous job doing nothing! I was going crazy after 3 days rest after each IVF, so I don't know how you do it. Your attitude is great, you are so laid back and your daughter is going to think you are the coolest mom in the world. Someday when she grows up and understands what you sacrificed to bring her into this world, she will be so grateful.
"I've never done so much absolute nothingness in my days - and yet have never felt so exhausted in my life."
This is so true, and I have only been down for a very small portion of the time that you have. Just keep on truckin girl. Believe me, if I could will December to be here tomorrow, I would. For all of our sakes.
xoxo
m
OMG! DID MEMPHIS NOT ROCK LAST NIGHT!? All I kept yelling was "God bless America!" LOL, it was great, because DH liked Jessie!
Quick HI to you, Sara ... just wanted to let you know I've been thinking (and praying) for you and Spot, especially after reading about your "fun" weekend in the hospital. (Did it feel like you had to pull a weekend shift?! j/k)
Please please please ... if there's anything I can do for you, let me know! I'm so close to you that I'd run and pick up your dry cleaning if you need me to!
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